Ex-boyfriend thought my stepfather was a pervert

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old. I am living with my stepfather, mother and two brothers. My stepfather and I get along very well. He has two children with another woman but they are boys.

He still does farm work and he sends money home for my mother. People do not know that he is not my biological father. They say that I resemble him but my mother said they were not in a relationship when I was born. My brothers can’t touch me because my stepfather has never hit me.

My mother and I wear the same size clothes so when she shops and she buys clothes, it is for the both of us. I had a boyfriend. I told my stepfather about him and he told me that I should not tell my mother. He said that he would love to see the guy. So one day I asked my boyfriend to accompany me to my stepfather’s workplace and I introduced him. My stepfather asked him what type of work he is planning to do and he told him he wanted to be a police officer. They didn’t talk for long but when my stepfather came home, he called me aside privately and said he didn’t like my boyfriend because my boyfriend didn’t look him in the eye. He had his face turned away when he was talking to him so something is wrong.

So, Pastor, when my boyfriend called me on another day I told him what my stepfather said and he became very upset and said it looked as if my stepfather wanted me for himself. When he said that I told him that I will not call him back and he should not call me either. He kept calling me and I didn’t answer. Finally, I answered and I told him that my stepfather is an upright man and he has never introduced anything bad to me and he has never abused me. I did not know that my boyfriend would think that way. I am done with him and I am proud of my stepfather.

V.P.

Dear V.P.,

You are surely a wise young lady. I am glad that you told your stepfather about this young man who loved you. I am wondering why he advised you not to tell your mother about the guy. However, whatever the reason, when your stepfather met the young man he realised that the relationship was not a solid one and he told you to break it up. I commend you because some girls would have said ‘ No, I am very much in love with him and I am not going to break up the relationship.’ But you accepted your stepfather’s judgement and you moved on. That guy was rude and out of order to even suggest to you that your stepfather had impure intentions. That is not the man you should have in your life. You will find a good man, just give it time and don’t rush into anything.

Pastor