Boyfriend wants ANOTHER WOMAN in our bed

Dear Pastor,

I am in my mid-20s and my boyfriend is 40. We have been together for the past two years. The relationship was going very well. I have a job but it doesn’t pay much. However, I am satisfied because my boyfriend pays most of the bills.

He has two children but I do not have any children. Recently, he has started to find faults with me. One of the reasons is that he made a request of me and I turned it down. He went behind my back and asked one of my girlfriends if she would join us in bed for a threesome. I was curious when she told me about his request. He said our anniversary was coming up and he wanted us to do something to spice up our relationship.

My friend told him that she has never done that but if it is my desire, she would do anything to help me. We have known each other since she was in high school. When I spoke to my boyfriend about it, he said he approached her but he was only ‘feeling her out’. He said that if I agree, it is something we should try. I told him that there are so many different ways that we can spice up our relationship. He can take me on a trip. I have a visa and so does he. I also told him that we can go to Negril or somewhere and live it up for a week or weekend. He said that even if we go on holidays, we would still be alone.

I cursed him but he was not satisfied. He went back to the girl and asked her if she could get one of her friends to do a threesome with him and she told him no. This man is 40 years old. Why does he want to do a threesome? This man has caused me to lose trust in him. As I see it, he will spend his money on prostitutes who are willing to do threesome with him and he will bring home disease to me. I thought our relationship was going so well. We are even planning to pay down on a house now. I am not sure that it makes sense to buy a house together if this man wants to get involved with other women.

Pastor, if you see me, any man would love me because I look good. I have never gone outside the relationship and I don’t intend to do so. What do you think I should do? I am so worried.

K.

Dear K.,

Your boyfriend says that he wants to spice up the relationship that both of you have been having for two years. What he wants to do is to destroy the relationship. Bringing a third person in the relationship is likely to destroy it and not to spice it up. He is much older than you. If this man was serious about life, he would be considering how to make the relationship that both of you are having permanent. Instead, he wants to play around and to bring another woman into your bed.

He is an out-of-order man. He did not even discuss the matter with you. He went to your friend first, but she is a young woman of principle. She found his request shocking, so she mentioned it to you. He said he was only joking with her, but you know that he was lying. He made another request of her that if she could get one of her friends along with herself to have a threesome with him. What does he hope to gain by engaging in a threesome? Evidently, this man is not happy with having you alone as his lover and you need to find out what is his problem.

Perhaps the time has come for both of you to sit with a counsellor and have some counselling together. It is unlikely that this man would stop making requests of women to do threesomes with him. Unfortunately, he will succeed. Some girls would not hesitate to do so if the price is right. Life is short. Let this man know that although you love him, you will leave him if he continues to play around because you need to protect yourself from HIV/AIDS and other STIs.

Pastor