My girlfriend refuses to leave her other man

Dear Pastor,

I love this woman and I refuse to let her stay with another man with whom she also has a relationship. The other man has also refused to give up and allow her to live her life with me. She is undecided what to do with her life.

I want to get married to her and the other guy wants to do the same. However, based on how things are going, it seems as if I will have to hold back. It is really hard to think about not marrying her because I really love her. It is a difficult scenario. I do not know how to let her go, because I really want to have a life with her. She loves me and I love her too. However, she also loves the other guy.

Please help me. Thank you.

P

Dear P.,

This woman is not hiding anything about the relationship she has with the other man. She has told you that the other man is in her life and she is wrapped up and tangled up with him. He is not prepared to let her go. The truth is that she is not prepared to let him go either. So, the man cannot be blamed for continuing to have a relationship with her.

This woman knows what she is getting out of the relationship with that man. She might not be telling you the whole truth. Perhaps this man is giving her more money than what you have been able to give to her. At the same time, she might be telling the fellow that he has something over you and that he is better in bed. No woman is going to stay with a man for a long time unless she is getting benefits.

So I ask you these questions: What do you believe that this man has over you? Why are you making yourself a fool for so long? That is exactly what you are doing, making yourself a fool. You told this woman that you want to get married to her and evidently she told you that the other man has proposed to her. But, even if you were to marry this woman, she would be just as unfaithful to you as she is now. Whatever extra this woman has — that other women don’t have — has turned you into a fool. You need to really think about your life. You are wasting your time and your money on this woman. To put it plainly, whether you like it or not, this woman is not a good woman and she is likely to nyam you out, under the disguise that she loves you. Therefore, it is time for you to walk away from this so-called relationship. Pastor