The Star (Jamaica)



Dear Pastor,

Most times when I read your column, I see that the majority of the letters come from females. They give the men so much bashing, and give the impression that men are problemati­c. However, I know women give a lot of problems too. I have had four different women, and when you hear them talk, you would believe that I have never done anything good for them. They always want more and I give and give until sometimes I have to say I can’t give anymore.

My last girlfriend told me that she was going to visit her grandmothe­r in another parish and I was so shocked to find out that she was visiting a man in the Cayman Islands. While there she called me and talked with me as if she was in Jamaica. When she came back to Jamaica and came home to me, she told me that grandmothe­r was doing fine, but that her visit was too short, and that she would like to go back for a week. I told her anytime she could visit her grandmothe­r whenever she wanted to do so. However, it was after that I heard that she was seen in the Cayman Islands.

The woman went to the Cayman Islands to be with a man. However, she swore on the Bible that she was not in Cayman Islands. I know she was there because it was my own brother who saw her. When he saw her he called to her and asked her for me because he thought that we were there together. My brother doesn’t have any reason to lie on her.

One of the girls I lived with told me I got her pregnant and she didn’t want to keep the baby. I gave her the money to do the abortion, but she was not pregnant.

This last girl I lived with always has her phone off, and if she talks to a male on the phone she said that he is her brother. I got tired of her bad lying, cheating ways and asked her to leave.

I have never lifted a finger to hurt any of these girls, but I have been tempted to do so. I have been very good to women. I used to see myself getting married and raising a family, but I have changed my mind.

I am not interested in meeting any other woman. I am so hurt. Any woman I meet now, I would use them and dump them.


Dear D.,

What I am about to say to you is just to encourage you. There was a man who was very busy, he held a prominent job, and perhaps his wife thought that he was not spending enough time with her. She made an arrangemen­t to fly out of the country and to spend time with her lover. She told her husband that she intended to go to a certain place and he gave her his blessings and he told her that she can go. He has no idea that she was going to spend time with another man. She went and returned to her country, and her husband was not aware that she was with another man.

I am not saying that you have ignored your spouse. In any case, she tricked you by not telling you that she was leaving the island. But the Cayman Islands is so small that she would have been seen anywhere. She was too brave. I find it difficult to ask you to forgive this woman.

Your brother saw her and she used one lie to cover the other. Let her go but don’t close your eyes to women. You may want to take a break until your heart is healed. The day will come when you may see another woman and establish another relationsh­ip, but don’t be in a hurry.


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