Dad wants me become a doctor

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I have been reading your column since I was about 12. My parents always purchase THE STAR, and I often hear them discussing the different letters to which you responded.

Sometimes I used to hear them argue among themselves about whether you should have said certain things. But they love to read your column. When I was younger, I would take the paper to my room and read your column when they were not paying attention.

My father had two children with my mother, but he had outside children. We know about four of them. He has admitted to having two, but my mother said there are more. My mother gets along with the mothers of the outside children. At Christmas, she makes sure that they have Christmas presents.

A BIG JOKE

My parents get along very well, even though my mother used to tell my father that she doesn’t trust him. He takes her professed distrust of him as a big joke.

My father is such a good father. He knew that he was bad, so he used to warn us about guys. The young men in the community were afraid of my father. His education level is not high, but he knows what is going on in the world.

My father always tells me that he wants to see me become a medical doctor because since I was a child, I used to play being a doctor. I know I may not become a doctor, but I want to do something in the medical field. I am hoping that I can become a nurse.

I ask my father where would the money come from to finance my medical studies, and he said that I should not worry. He said he would sell some of the land to ensure that I pursue my studies. I don’t want to be a burden to my parents, they are wonderful parents. I am proud of them, and I am glad that they like my boyfriend.

N.D.

Dear N.D.,

First of all, let me say that I am happy to hear that your parents are avid readers of my column and that you, too, have been reading the column.

I am glad that you have gained knowledge from it. I know that it is not possible for people to agree with everything that I write.

I was at a particular place a few years ago, and a young man approached me and told me that he did not agree with everything that I write. I told him that was not my business. I told him I was not concerned whether he agreed or disagreed. What I am prepared to do is to speak the truth, and I can defend what I have written. I didn’t mean to insult the young man. I was simply trying to tell him that I don’t write because I want people to love me. I write because I want to inform the public. I write because I want to empathise with folks who need encouragement and support in time of need; and I write because I want to educate in the area that I am competent. I know that I can’t please everybody.

I am glad that your parents have fun reading my column. Your parents understand each other well. Your mother says that your daddy was a ‘bad’ man, and I used the word ‘bad’ cautiously. He likes his girls, and she accepted that. But one of the things that she didn’t accept was to leave him. She was able to handle the situation very well. He couldn’t fool her.

Some women would have given up long ago. They would have left him and started over with another man, and that other man might not have treated them very well.

Your mother is wise. She accepted the children that your father has outside the relationship and she treated them as part of the family. I am sure that she has encouraged you to accept them as your siblings.

You are 18 and your goal is to be a medical doctor. You should not be too concerned about what it is going to cost you financially. You may be able to apply for and be granted scholarships. You can also apply for a student loan. Your father will support you because he is proud of you, and he would like to see you succeed. You have a good father.

I want to wish you well and to encourage you to pursue your goals.

Pastor