Not rushing into marriage

Dear Pastor,

I enjoy reading your column every week. I hope that you will get the strength to answer more of these letters. You have caused me to be thinking of becoming a family counsellor.

I am doing a master’s degree right now, and I would love to do a doctorate in clinical psychology. I have a boyfriend, and you may wonder why a girl at my age isn’t married.

I am 31 years old and so is my boyfriend. To us, marriage is nothing to run after. I have my own apartment. It was given to me for my 25th birthday by my father. My father and my mother broke up, and my father told me that having my own home is better than having a wedding ring. So, I do not discuss marriage with my boyfriend, unless he brings it up in a conversation. I know he wants us to get married, but I am not interested in having children, so it is not an issue for me.

I am half-white. My boyfriend is fully Caucasian.

Whenever we are going out, we do not dress up. I love to be in jeans and I love reggae music, and so does he. I went to school with many Jamaicans and I can talk Patois if I want to, and you

Do you have a problem? Is something bothering you?

Write to Tell Me Pastor, Dr Aaron Dumas, PO Box 188, King Street, Kingston. Tel: 876-929-1667-8; email: pastor@jamaica-star.com and dumas.dearpastor@gmail.com would not know that I am not Jamaican. I live in a nice area in New York. My boyfriend and I are coming to Jamaica in August and we would love to meet with you. Please let us know if that would be possible.

J.K.

Dear J.K.,

It would be a delight to meet with your boyfriend and you. Both of you are mature people, and you know where you are going, so to speak. So many young people are just living, but they are not going anywhere. They are aimless and goalless. You would love to study clinical psychology; you have my full support. I will also suggest to you that you think about forensic psychology. You can discuss this with your university.

You are a very fortunate young woman. You were a daddy’s girl. What better gift could he have bought for you than an apartment? Take good care of the apartment. I hope that your man and you will live happily together.

Pastor

I know he wants us to get married, but I am not interested in having children, so it is not an issue for me.