Unforgettable love
Dementia cannot stop bond between husband and wife
Aspiritual connection is what Alton Marshalleck believes has kept his marriage to Dr Edith Marshalleck going for 60 years and counting.
But the last few years have been the toughest test of their union, as Edith, 94, was diagnosed with dementia in 2018.
“She recognise me and the children, but nobody else. She hugs me and talk to me, but she don’t have memories of us, but she knows I am her husband. A few months ago she said to me, ‘You really love me?’ and I told her yes. It’s very touching emotionally, because it is hard for me to understand how she was so vibrant and intelligent and now this,” he said. Marshalleck, 90, said he was in a relationship when he first laid eyes on Edith.
“I was in university in the
US and I was supposed to be engaged to a girl, but she got emotionally sick and took off to England and left me. It was 1960 and I was heartbroken. About a year before that I had seen Edith at church, and I was saying to myself that she was a very beautiful girl and I wondered how she wasn’t married already. I told myself that if my girl and I broke up, I was gonna come back and check this girl,” he said between laughter.
Marshalleck said he enquired about Edith’s whereabouts and a relative told him that she was at Oxford University in England. After hearing that she was coming to New York, he telephoned her and told her that he would like to correspond with her.
“For two years we communicated via letters, as she was in Jamaica. It didn’t get boring. In one of the letters she sent me a picture of herself, and at that time I was ‘fishing’, so I had two other pictures of two girls. I showed my friends all three pictures and they asked me which one I wanted and I picked on my present wife, and they told me she was a sweet girl and I ignored the other two girls and stuck with her,” he said.
Marshalleck said that after completing his degree, he returned to Jamaica for
Edith to see him in the flesh; and the two dated for four months before tying the knot on January 12, 1964.
“My wife was very bright and spiritual. She went to Oxford and she was a permanent secretary in three ministries. I adored her, and still adore her. We didn’t have any children until four years after we got married,” he said. They have a daughter and son. Edith is a retired civil servant who spent 33 years in public service. She also taught at Kingsway High School for eight years and served as principal for the Bahamas Academy in Nassau. Marshalleck worked for 33 years with the Jamaica Union of Seventh-day Adventists as an accountant. He also served as administrator of Andrews Memorial Hospital and lecturer at the Northern Caribbean University, rising to the rank of assistant professor in the business department.
“Both of us are Adventists and my wife was non-racial. I remember when she was buying teddy bears for the house for decoration, she bought a white, black and a brown one. She is very humble and kind. She is a great girl and everyone loves her,” he said.
“We left each other to do our own thing. I didn’t interfere with her situation on the job. She worked with a lot of top guys, and there were times when she would work up to 2 o’clock in the night, but we never argued about it She was a very faithful girl; and so was I. We were very truthful and faithful to each other, and we have a spiritual connection,” Marshalleck added.
The couple migrated to the US in the 1970s, where Edith worked in a private school as a Spanish teacher, while Marshalleck worked in the public school system for 26 years.