Mom said I’m on my own after getting pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and I am still living at home, but I have found myself in a problem. I have a boyfriend who is only 18 and we engaged in sex a few times and he has got me pregnant. I don’t know what to do.

This young man is learning a trade. He is a nice guy, but he cannot do much to help me. He is at the garage every day working with his uncle. He told his uncle that he got me pregnant. His uncle met with me and asked me what I am going to do. Before I could answer, he told me that he is hoping that I will not destroy the pregnancy, and he would help my boyfriend to support me and the baby because my boyfriend is fretting.

I don’t know my father, and I am living with my mother and grandmother. I have two younger sisters. When I told my mother that I am three months pregnant, she told me that I am on my own. All three of us girls sleep in one room; there are only two beds. My mother and grandmother have their own room. Please do not condemn me. I knew better, but I made a mistake.

The man my boyfriend is learning the trade from told me that if I have to leave my grandmother’s house, he would rent us a small room at his house. He has a back room that he calls a helper’s quarters. It has its own bathroom, but he does not use it.

My grandmother is sympathetic and she told me that she would help me take care of the baby, so that I would be able to go and work. My babyfather introduced me to his father. His parents are not married. His father promised to help him buy things for the baby. Sometimes I feel confused. I was not expecting to go through this situation.

At this stage of my life, I was hoping to go to HEART/NSTA Trust and learn housekeeping. I told my babyfather that I would still like to do so after giving birth, but he says that he does not want me to stay far from him after the baby is born. I don’t know what to do. I have ruined my life.

Y.C.

Dear Y.C.,

You have not ruined your life. You have made a mistake and the mistake is very costly.

At your age, you should have known that you expose yourself to becoming pregnant if you and your partner engage in unprotected sex. Both of you were old enough to know that you should have protected yourself from pregnancy if you were having sex.

Your mother has told you that you are on your own. I suppose she means that you should not expect her to be of much help to you. Your child’s father is trying to learn a trade. He is not wasting his time, and his

My grandmother is sympathetic and she told me that she would help me take care of the baby, so that I would be able to go and work.

boss likes him and has offered to help both of you. If you are forced to leave your grandmother’s house, this man is willing to let your boyfriend and you live in a vacant room that he has. It would be better, however, for you to stay at home although it might not be convenient there. But your grandma, and even your mother, will teach you how to take care of the baby.

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you. But I hope that you would still go to HEART/NSTA Trust and pursue the course in housekeeping.

Pastor