Worried about sex positions because I’m pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I am five months pregnant, and my husband is still insisting that we should have sex as often as before.

But I find it very hard to keep up. I do not like the positions that he is putting me in. Sometimes I feel that these positions are so distasteful and that Christians should not do them. My stomach is getting very large, so my husband bought extra pillows. Instead of us having sex on the bed, he stocked the pillows together on the floor and had me kneel on the carpet while he entered me from the back. I do not feel that as Christians we should engage in that position. He enjoyed himself, but I tolerated it.

My husband keeps telling me that I am driving him away from me. One night he said he will not masturbate as long as I am not ill, because doing the ‘doggy style’ will not kill me. A few Saturdays ago, my husband went out and came home very late. I tried to reach him on his cellular phone, but I was not successful. When he got home, I could smell perfume all over him. I asked him if he was with a woman and he said there were women there and they were dancing, so that is what I smelled. I insisted that he should take a shower before coming into the bed, and I stood in the bathroom until he had his shower. I asked him if he had sex with one of the women at the party and he said no. I asked him to have sex with me and he was not interested. That tells me that he had sex with another woman.

I am worried. I do not want to lose my husband. He told me I will never lose him, even if he cheated on me. I told him that we should give sex a break; he said we could try. But I know this man; I don’t think he can afford to give sex a break. So I am asking you what you would suggest that we should do.

T.J.

Dear T.J., I am going to be frank with you and I hope you will not get mad at me.

If you want to have your husband remain with you, do not use your pregnancy as an excuse for not pleasing him in bed. You have been fortunate to have him, and you are also fortunate to get pregnant. Try your best to please your husband. Your pregnancy should not prevent you from enjoying sex.

Some married women claim that during pregnancy they enjoy their husband even more. There are many books that you can buy that would tell you about the different positions your husband and you can engage in while having sex. This idea of not having sex while you are pregnant is nonsense, and if your husband tells you that he agrees, it is likely that he will not keep his word.

I am sure you have older women who you can discuss this matter with and ask them to give you advice.

Pastor

“Instead of us having sex on the bed, he stocked the pillows together on the floor and had me kneel on the carpet while he entered me from the back.”