THE CUTTING EDGE
BY THE WATCHMAN
PARTIAL POLLSTERS. The recent opinion polls that have seen Nairobi score dismally are not a true reflection of the reality on the ground, says Chris Kiriba. He takes great exception to the pollsters’ comparison of Nairobi with two other counties, Mombasa and Kisumu, on the basis of service delivery to their residents. The survey, Chris is convinced, “was biased against Nairobi”. The capital, he adds, “has a huge population that naturally supports the opposition and, therefore, won’t see anything good that Governor Mike Sonko does”. His contact is email@example.com.
TRIBAL VARSITIES. The public universities have, sadly, become the bastions of tribalism and nepotism, claims Maiko Sunzuki, taking issue, especially with the appointment of vice-chancellors. The majority of the VCS, who are set to retire soon, he adds, are from the regions in which the institutions are located. “If the Ministry of Education can’t ensure that the senates of the universities do fair selections, why can’t it just do a reshuffle, so that the VCS swap places? It’s so disheartening that the heads of our universities are tribal chiefs!” His contact is firstname.lastname@example.org.
FORLORN FOOTBRIDGES. There are good reasons why Mombasa residents have been shunning a few of the footbridges and flyovers constructed at such a high cost to taxpayers, says Luciana Mwachoki. Although she lives next to one of the footbridges in the Buxton area, Luciana says, she would rather cross the busy road instead. If someone uses the footbridge, she says, they find that there is hardly any space to walk on near the Malindi matatu terminus, forcing them to walk on the road, with motor vehicles coming from behind. Her contact is email@example.com.
DOZEN DAYS OF DARKNESS. Just when the residents and companies located on Gilgil Road, off Enterprise Road, Nairobi, thought they had suffered enough due to the potholed roads, uncovered manholes, poor drainage and harassment by pesky car parking attendants, Kenya Power has weighed in with its own dose of punishment, moans Peter Gichana. Associated Motors, an Isuzu dealer, whose account is No. 1950512, and many others, Peter claims, have experienced blackouts for a total of 12 days. His contact is Tel. 0722340182 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
‘EX-FART’ OPINION. A simply interesting solution to Joanne Ndirangu’s irritation by her housemate, who likes farting in the kitchen in the evening, arrives from Uk-based Kenyan S. K. Chege. Says he: “Do you (Watchie) sometimes fall off the chair laughing? Some of these are absolutely hilarious, but not to Joanne. To her, I wish to suggest that, before the other woman starts farting at 9.30pm, please, open the door a minute earlier and ask her to go out for five minutes. By the time she’s back, she will have done her offending thing outside.” His contact is email@example.com.
‘THIEF-MIS’. As debate rages on the revelation about the latest Sh10 billion scandal at the National Youth Service, Charles Kiilu says, the investigators need not look too far for an explanation. According to him, it is about the government’s Integrated Financial Management System (Ifmis), which the corrupt officials have been taking advantage of, thanks to its operational shortcomings. It’s time, he urges, that a forensic audit of the system was carried out to plug this new theft avenue. His contact is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have a foolproof day, won’t you!
The Nairobi city centre, showing KICC and Times Tower.