Blended fam­i­lies: How to nav­i­gate chal­lenges

Daily Nation (Kenya) - - RELATIONSHIPS -

Sec­ond, there are those who come from mar­riages that ex­pe­ri­enced di­vorce. Third are those that are a mix of the two.

Rea­sons that ne­ces­si­tated the break-up of the re­la­tion­ship in ei­ther case is in­te­gral to com­ing up with ways of over­com­ing past hurts and mov­ing to­wards build­ing new re­la­tion­ships. Re­mem­ber­ing that re­la­tion­ships are com­pli­cated is help­ful to build­ing con­sen­sus on is­sues.

Strong and emo­tion­ally healthy in­di­vid­u­als make re­la­tion­ships and mar­riage work bet­ter. For ex­am­ple, a spouse with chil­dren from an abu­sive re­la­tion­ship will have a lot of bag­gage to carry from that past. In ad­di­tion, there could be peo­ple is­sues and con­flicts that re­quire re­solv­ing.

There­fore, chal­lenges of blended fam­i­lies and how to deal with them will be a pri­or­ity. As you men­tioned, in­still­ing dis­ci­pline in chil­dren can lead to the break­ing up of a re­la­tion­ship if a spouse ends up feel­ing like their child was be­ing treated un­fairly. Talk­ing and walk­ing to­wards a joint way of rais­ing and dis­ci­plin­ing chil­dren will be one of your key pri­or­i­ties.

To­gether with this are the is­sues of merg­ing dif­fer­ent fam­ily cul­tures. What were their agree­ments on is­sues con­cern­ing money, treat­ment of in-laws, how pre­vi­ous re­la­tion­ships still af­fect the cur­rent life. How were con­flicts re­solved and vic­to­ries cel­e­brated.

In essence, blended fam­i­lies could mean the bring­ing to­gether of two fam­ily cul­tures, who en­joyed dif­fer­ent ways of life, to live un­der the same roof. What level of tol­er­ance would be needed? When stud­ied well and ap­proached with wis­dom, a lot could hap­pen that could add wis­dom to how spouses and chil­dren live in blended fam­i­lies.

So, when should one say yes in light of such is­sues? The an­swer to this is not as sim­ple as one may think. Peo­ple are dif­fi­cult to un­der­stand. How­ever, do due dili­gence in the ar­eas dis­cussed. For ex­am­ple, what caused the sep­a­ra­tion in the pre­vi­ous re­la­tion­ships? Are there pend­ing is­sues that were not dealt with? Who took re­spon­si­bil­ity for what? How has that af­fected how they moved for­ward? What was the fam­ily cul­ture? What re­la­tional in­tel­li­gence can I bring into this re­la­tion­ship?

Th­ese and many other ques­tions can of­fer a place to start. In the end, it is a mat­ter of choice. Hi

I may not fully un­der­stand your con­text. How­ever, it's not only im­moral but against the law for some­one to harass or de­mand sex­ual favours from an­other. This is sex­ual ha­rass­ment. Stand­ing for one's val­ues is key. Why de­sire to com­pro­mise and re­gret all your life? I en­cour­age you to be stead­fast. Some­times good morals don't come about easily.

In ad­di­tion, if in­deed th­ese peo­ple con­tinue to be a prob­lem, you need to re­port the threats to the po­lice. I re­ally do not see how they are able to pen­e­trate into ev­ery space you or your boyfriend gets into. Their threats should not be al­lowed to con­tinue. In­stead, it should be met with the full force of the law. Al­low­ing them to taunt you could give them the power they need to rule over you.

It may be right for you to place sex­ual ha­rass­ment in its cor­rect place and not al­low oth­ers to get lee­way to con­tinue to men­tally abuse you. As for them get­ting hold of your per­sonal doc­u­ments like cer­tifi­cates and de­stroy­ing them, you should take le­gal ac­tion. Tak­ing author­ity over your fears is also im­por­tant. Fear can make one overly anx­ious. It may be dif­fi­cult to force your man back to you. You have to de­feat your fears.

I said in one of my ar­ti­cle some time ago that, the way to a suc­cess­ful life is to stop feed­ing one's mind with neg­a­tive thoughts. When we do, we will come to be­lieve what we think about our­selves. I sug­gest that, in­stead of blame, feed your mind with pos­i­tive thoughts, and make it your pri­or­ity sur­round your­self with peo­ple who give you pos­i­tive sup­port. When you learn to ac­cept and love your­self, this will help re­lease joy and bring sober­ness to your heart and mind. You must be­lieve deep down in your heart that you're des­tined to do great things in­clud­ing re­lat­ing to peo­ple who have the ca­pac­ity to add value to your life.

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