Business Confidential

Anyone who has done business in Seoul will know there is a certain etiquette to fraternising with Korean colleagues. Here are a few thoughts to bear in mind...

It is considered rude to not drink yourself into senility amongst Korean businessmen. Unless you are happy to drink to the verge of hospitalisation, you may find it convenient to have an emergency global conference call in your hotel room, or 24hr glandular fever. Koreans can be quite shy and tend to use soju (jet-propellant) as a kind of social lubricant. Becoming over-lubricated and getting shouty is considered the norm. If your boss or elder offers you a shot of jet-propellant, you MUST accept, and drink it in one. Under no circumstances are you allowed to pour your own drink, in case you cheat and don’t fill your cup. If you are male, you will be expected to attend one or more ‘bang’ or rooms (if you’re female, you won’t be invited, so count yourself lucky and scamper quicksticks). There are several types of rooms like PC Bang (gaming/internet/email), and DVD bangs for watching films. However, the bangs you need worry about are the ‘noraebangs’ and ‘room salons’. Noraebangs, or ‘singing rooms’ (aka karaoke), are where you will be ritually humiliated by being forced to sing My Way, while developing acute cirrhosis, and in some establishments manhandled by underdressed floosies. Finally, you will be dragged to a ‘room salon’ where surgically-enhanced Korean Barbies will pour you exorbitantly-priced whiskey and pretend to like you. Note, by this time you will have drunk so much even your own mother will no longer like you. The unwritten rule of these establishments (no doubt written by a man), is that whatever happens here, stays here. Bear in mind, a ‘first round’ means drinks, a ‘second round’ means bedroom Olympics and very possibly a nasty rash... You have been warned.