Teen’s suicide attempt is the signal for friend to act

DEAR ABBY: I’m 13, and I’m writing you about my best friend. Her life at home has always sucked, but now it has reached a new level. Her grandmother is no longer paying for her tuition, her parents verbally abuse her and yesterday she attempted suicide. Luckily, she called me and I talked her through it.

I don’t know how to help her. I can’t talk to her parents because they’ll be no help, but I don’t know what will happen if I tell my parents. Please help me.

NEEDS ANSWERS IN CALIF.

DEAR NEEDS ANSWERS: You are a caring friend. The one thing you shouldn’t do in a misguided effort to “protect” your friend is to remain silent. When someone threatens suicide, it is time to act.

You should absolutely tell your par- ents everything you know so they can inform her parents. If your parents are hesitant to do that, confide in a trusted teacher or counselor at school so your friend can get the help she appears to desperately need. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s toll-free number is 800-273-8255. Please share it with your friend. But if she tells you again that she has injured herself, call 911.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 23-year-old stepson who continues to bully my wife into taking care of him. She recently helped him to buy a home, even though she knew his current earnings would not be enough to cover his car, insurance, phone, cable, etc.

He continues to make his problems ours. He called yesterday telling his mom he needs brakes. We already pay his insurance on the vehicle and other small, unexpected bills. Oh, and by the way, he has a baby on the way.

I have tried repeatedly to talk to my wife about enabling him, but she refuses to see that she is keeping him dependent. What can I say or do to help her get on the right path?

MAN-CHILD PROBLEMS

DEAR PROBLEMS: Ideally, spouses are supposed to agree before spending large amounts of community assets. Marriage counseling might help you to get through to her. But if it doesn’t, consider consulting a lawyer about protecting your assets. I agree that your wife is enabling her son, and she’s not doing him any favors in the long run. However, if the money she’s giving him is her own, you can’t stop her from doing it.