Are we America lovers or China lovers?

Here are accounts of what happened to me on three occasions. I used my imagination to some extent to make them presentable to help in one way or more define Korea’s future relationship vis-a-vis the United States and China.

Case No. 1

After a heated debate about the supposed declining power of the United States, an American friend asked me, “When do Koreans have new masters, the Chinese?”

I told him, “We will change our masters, when we need to. We may consider Americans’ behavior in the meantime.” In the lead-up to this tit-for-tat, I told him that the American power is declining so this calls for Korea to review its present relationship. My friend disputed it citing his country’s defense budget and trade volume that are the biggest in the world.

I countered that China is catching up fast, sharing with him my assessment that the U.S. often looks tired, being no longer interested in playing its role of global policeman. My reasoning is: if the U.S. may not be actually declining, it is perceived as such. Perception often counts as much as reality. So Korea should experiment more broadly with China for a closer relationship.

He took it as an affront, a betrayal considering what the United States has done for Koreans, shedding blood in repelling communist North Koreans during the 1950-53 Korean War and helping Korea defend itself against the North ever since.

But I conveyed to him Koreans’ feelings — thanks for the help but the two countries’ alliance is a mutu- ally beneficial contract. Added is a piece of history: the U.S. excluded Korea out of its Acheson defense parameter, virtually inviting the Soviets to coach the North to start the Korean conflict. The three-year war was the outgrowth of the Cold War and a proxy war between the two superpowers.

I told him that a tired U.S. might feel overstretched away from home in the face of China on its home turf and might pull out of Asia and that Korea should consider that contingency. A few months after this episode, Donald Trump was elected as the U.S. president.

Case No. 2

My British friend observed that Koreans are hypocrites: chanting anti-American slogans and rallying against Americans at the first sign of a slight but keeping mum about China’s provocations. He said that Koreans owe its democratic values to Americans but fail to show enough appreciation.

I asked him to convey my thanks to the Americans. I also asked him to convey to the Chinese that they should get in a long queue and wait their turn for being demonstrated against.

But his question lingered with me. My thinking went like this: China was a communist nation that couldn’t be affected by demonstrations overseas and what’s going on in China is not worth rallying against. Suddenly, the thought came upon me: Are we really scared by the Chinese, “savages” that were less bothered by the trappings of democracy and rule of law, and would go after their interests? Were their fast-growing startups red guards of Mao Zedong or the Boxers for the Empress Dowager Cixi?

My English friend’s provocative overture came at the initial stages of the row over Korea’s decision to deploy the U.S. missile interceptor — the Terminal High Altitude Area Defense system — that China is dead set against for its alleged intrusive radar. Fast-track to now and China’s Xi has just thrown a tantrum at President Moon Jae-in, while embracing the North as its blood-sealed ally during their recent summit.

Case No. 3

My former colleague and I got into an argument about the current liberal government’s pro-Chinese sentiment (it was before the Moon-Trump summit). He took an issue with Moon Chung-in, the President’s foreign affairs mentor, for upsetting Americans by supporting China’s suggestion of starting peace talks between the U.S. and North Korea in return for the North’s denuclearization.

“Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut?” he asked not as a question but in a show of anger. “Americans are our friends and the Chinese are our enemies.” I told him to remember Injo. The 16th king of the Joseon Kingdom made the wrong choice between a traditional ally, the Ming Dynasty, and the emerging Qing Dynasty from Manchu, and invited the Hong Taiji-led invasion in the mid-17th century. He was forced to undergo a humiliating kowtow ceremony and switch his national allegiance to the Manchurian dynasty. I hated to remember this piece of history for the fear that remembering it may help it be repeated so I was surprised when I told him that.

So will Koreans distance themselves from the U.S. to get closer to China? Although these cases are anecdotal, they can prove this much: It may not be a stark choice of one over the other, but even rebalancing ties with the U.S. and China is no less a difficult proposition. Koreans have a lot of emotional baggage with the U.S. We owe it a lot for what we have become but get tired of its big brother interference. Sometimes, the ally looks like a big obstacle to unification or any other national agenda issue. With the Chinese, we do have fears on the basis of history and feel so much different from a single-party dictatorship.

President Moon is conducting follow-up efforts to readjust the relationships with China and the U.S. a la his friend, the late President Roh Moo-hyun. But he keeps finding himself stuck where Roh had been — being frustrated with the lack of things he can do, being sandwiched between the big powers and the recalcitrant North. Is this our destiny or will there be a way out for us to become the decider of our own fate?