Runaway dad on dating site guilty of false advertising
DEAR ABBY: Last year I had a baby with one of my college professors. He left me 10 days before our daughter was born and has never met her. I chased him through family court, and he gives me the bare minimum in state-ordered support.
Recently, I spotted him advertising himself on a dating website as a loving man and describing how he loves his first daughter with no mention of ours (he has two other children, a girl and a boy). How do I move past this? A part of me is angry for her, but I’m also angry for myself. I’m in therapy, but seeing him on a dating website describing himself as a good person, when in truth he’s a sociopath, has reopened wounds I thought had closed months ago.
OPEN WOUNDS
DEAR OPEN WOUNDS: Thank you for writing to me, but this is a question you should be addressing with your psychotherapist. Sometimes it takes multiple doses of “medicine” to cure an ailment, but the longer you allow this man to occupy real estate in your head, the harder it will be for you to get on with your life. Call your therapist.
DEAR ABBY: I love my fiance with all my heart. We have good friends and family. The problem is, my fiance loves to talk. He talks a lot. I’ve known this since I met him, but because I don’t talk much, it doesn’t bother me. I like listening to his stories. However, I can see our friends getting annoyed because of his constant talking. It also happens when we are around his family — and they usually end up treating him badly for it.
Is there any way I can gently talk to him about this so he’s aware that he is irritating people? I don’t want to hurt him, but I also don’t want him to annoy people. I’m also afraid it may affect his employment. His co-workers get that same look on their faces when he’s talking that his family members do when they are annoyed with him.
ENGAGED TO A BIG TALKER
DEAR ENGAGED: Your fiance may have difficulty picking up on social cues, which is why he doesn’t notice that others become annoyed as he drones on and on. You should absolutely point out to him what you have noticed, and tell him you are concerned that it may affect his employment. Then suggest he discuss his compulsive talking with a licensed mental health professional. This is not to imply there is anything “wrong” with him, but rather that he may benefit from professional help in recognizing the social cues he is missing.
CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Piper Perabo, 41; Mike O’Malley, 51; Dermot Mulroney, 54; Peter Jackson, 56.
Happy Birthday: Stop dreaming and start doing. Explore your options and create new opportunities. Discuss your future goals and how you expect to reach your target. Don’t let the past stand in your way. Dismiss what you can’t change and move on to new territory that shows promise and hope. Take up unusual pastimes and associate with people you find inspiring. Your numbers are 8, 14, 22, 26, 30, 34, 48.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Listen to the voices of reason and experience, especially when it comes to medical, financial or contractual matters. A positive result can develop if you take the proper steps to improve your position. Personal growth is encouraged. 3 stars
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Keep your ideas and plans a secret until you have ironed out any foreseeable problems. Knowing the outcome of whatever you want to pursue and present will give you the leverage to achieve success. Pos- itive change is within reach. 4 stars
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’ll face opposition if you get into an emotional discussion with someone you partner with or who depends on you. Don’t give in to unreasonable demands. Make it clear right from the beginning what you are willing to do. 2 stars
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Use your intelligence and past experience to help you make your way to the top. No matter what you want to accomplish, ingenuity and intuition will lead to good results. Do what feels right, not what others want you to do. 5 stars
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Dedication and determination will pay off. Refuse to let emotional situations slow you down. Getting things done on time will make you feel good and bring unexpected rewards. Work hard, play hard and live life your own way. 3 stars
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Partnerships should be your priority. Much can be accomplished if you discuss matters of importance. Make a commitment if it will help seal a deal. Make travel plans or expand your interests. 3 stars
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Put all your effort into how you earn your living. Expanding your knowledge or skills will put you in a position for advancement. Your dedication and unusual approach to getting things done will help you grab the attention of someone influential. 3 stars
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Socialize or take an active role in events that include your peers, children or someone with whom you share common interests. A short trip to a location that offers something unique will spark your imagination and jump-start a new venture. 5 stars
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Demands will slow you down. Make it clear what you will and won’t do. Don’t wait until it’s too late to say "no" or cancel an appointment. Stay on top of pressing matters. Don’t give in to emotional tactics. 2 stars
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Discuss your long-term plans and look for new ways to resolve administrative problems you face with a financial, corporate or medical institution. Following up on a promise you made will change the way you move forward. Proceed with caution. 4 stars
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you must get into a discussion, speak from the heart. Keep your facts straight and give others a chance to explain. Your best bet is to focus on personal achievements and physical fitness. Less talk and more action is preferable. 3 stars
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your gut feelings will be acute. Follow your heart, speak your mind and get to the bottom of any situation that irks you. Once you clear the air, you will have room to adopt whatever approach best suits your needs. Think big. 3 stars