Hus­band doesn’t give his lost wed­ding ring sec­ond thought

The Korea Times - - HOROSCOPE - By Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band and I just re­turned from a fan­tas­tic trip through­out Asia. While re­mov­ing a piece of luggage from the con­veyor belt at air­port, my hus­band’s wed­ding ring flew off his fin­ger. He glanced at and around the belt for about 12 sec­onds, shrugged his shoul­ders, turned and headed for the exit. I, and many of our fel­low trav­el­ers, con­tin­ued to look for it.

I called out to him as he was walk­ing away and said we should no­tify some­one and give them our in­for­ma­tion if it was found. His re­sponse was, “Not worth it” and a sim­ple head shake.

We cel­e­brated our third wed­ding an­niver­sary on that trip. We have been to­gether for 14 years, and dur­ing that time, he pro­posed in sev­eral very ro­man­tic and lov­ing ways. We had a de­light­ful re­la­tion­ship up to the point of his los­ing the ring, but I re­al­ize now I was the only one who took the sym­bol­ism of our wed­ding rings se­ri­ously.

I am hurt, dis­ap­pointed and em­bar­rassed by his ac­tions. He says I’m over­re­act­ing and that he didn’t want to wear one any­way. (I never asked or ex­pected him to get one. He got it only be­cause he had “cashed in” his for­mer spouse’s en­gage­ment and wed­ding ring set that she had left be­hind in a drawer.) What is your take on this mat­ter? — DEEPER MEAN­ING IN PENNSYLVAN­IA

DEAR DEEPER MEAN­ING: I do find it unusual that your hus­band made such a fee­ble at­tempt to find the ring. How­ever, my take on this is you should thank your higher power for the won­der­ful re­la­tion­ship you have shared with this man the last 14 years and not ruin what you have by blow­ing this out of proportion. What you have with him is more pre­cious than any tan­gi­ble item. If he prefers not to re­place it, let it go.

DEAR ABBY: My daugh­terin-law is the only mem­ber of our ex­tended lo­cal fam­ily who drinks al­co­hol. I think she may be an al­co­holic. At fam­ily events she be­comes nasty when she drinks, but she thinks she’s clever and amus­ing.

For the last 10 years I have kept my mouth shut. Am I en­abling? Should I say some­thing to alert her to how she is com­ing across? Other fam­ily mem­bers feel the same as I do. — NON-DRINKER IN MICHI­GAN

DEAR NON-DRINKER: This woman is mar­ried to your son. How does HE feel about this? One of the warn­ing signs of an al­co­hol prob­lem is a per­son­al­ity change when the per­son has been drink­ing. Not only should you point out to your daugh­ter-in-law that she has a prob­lem, but the rel­a­tives who feel as you do should ap­proach her with you. It is called an “in­ter­ven­tion.”

There are pro­grams that can help your daugh­ter-in-law — AA is one of sev­eral — but only if she rec­og­nizes she has a prob­lem. Al-Anon is a re­source for friends and fam­ily who are af­fected by a loved one’s drink­ing. Find it at al-anon.org and at­tend some meet­ings. You will find them en­light­en­ing.

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