An­gry out­bursts spoil group’s en­joy­ment of spir­ited de­bates

The Korea Times - - HOROSCOPE - By Abi­gail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I fre­quently so­cial­ize with friends who like to par­tic­i­pate in de­bates. We share dif­fer­ent opin­ions on top­ics such as pol­i­tics, geopo­lit­i­cal events, etc.

The prob­lem is “Bob.” When oth­ers don’t see things the way he does, he throws a fit. Once, it got so bad that one of my friends got up and left. An­other time, while I was ex­press­ing my po­lit­i­cal view to the group, Bob made faces, rolled his eyes and at­tacked me with ridicule. I got very an­noyed.

Bob DE­MANDS that we lis­ten to what HE has to say, but re­fuses to lis­ten to oth­ers. He’s fine as long as you agree with him. But in this cur­rent cli­mate, I’m ex­pect­ing more erup­tions. Abby, what do I do when the next fit erupts? — CAUGHT IN THE STORM

DEAR CAUGHT: The next time a “fit” erupts, call Bob on it and point out that what he’s do­ing is dis­re­spect­ful. If he doesn’t stop, do as your other friend did. Get up and leave. Per­haps when Bob finds him­self sur­rounded by an ever-shrink­ing au­di­ence, he will stop his over­bear­ing per­for­mance. And if he doesn’t, at least you won’t have to suf­fer.

DEAR ABBY: We re­cently moved into a condo com­mu­nity of about a hun­dred units. A few weeks ago, a sign was anony­mously posted on a car parked in a neigh­bor’s drive­way com­plain­ing about the “smell” and “mess” in the car. I re­moved the sign only to find it re­placed the next day. This has hap­pened sev­eral times since.

I know noth­ing about this res­i­dent ex­cept that his car has not moved from the spot in the drive­way. I am ap­palled by some­one’s at­tempt to shame our neigh­bor. I plan to bring it up at our next as­so­ci­a­tion meet­ing, but is there any­thing else I can do? — DIS­AP­POINTED IN THE EAST

DEAR DIS­AP­POINTED: There could be rea­sons why the car in the drive­way wasn’t moved — among them ill­ness or an ab­sent home­owner. By all means dis­cuss this at the next home­own­ers’ meet­ing. And when you bring up the sub­ject, sug­gest to the board that se­cu­rity cam­eras be in­stalled for the safety of the res­i­dents and their prop­erty.

DEAR ABBY: When my hus­band and I go out in pub­lic, he doesn’t in­tro­duce me to peo­ple. I have told him more than once how it makes me feel. He in­tro­duces his sis­ter or our chil­dren if they are close by. Be­cause of this, I shrink away or speak very lit­tle when he talks to oth­ers.

I don’t want to break our fam­ily up, but I feel like “noth­ing” around him. My hus­band seems happy with me at home. I’m not a tro­phy wife, but I think I’m a good catch. What can I do? — WIFE OF SU­PER­FI­CIAL HUS­BAND

DEAR WIFE: What you can do when your hus­band “for­gets” to in­tro­duce you is smile, speak up and say, “Hi, I’m ‘Janie,’ his wife.” And when you are in pri­vate, re­mind him that his fail­ure to in­tro­duce you is rude, and you find it in­sult­ing.

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