Bad news comes sec­ond­hand about bride’s wed­ding plans

The Korea Times - - HOROSCOPE - By Abi­gail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am get­ting mar­ried soon. I grew up with­out a bi­o­log­i­cal fa­ther. When I was younger, a man (I’ll call him Tom) stepped into my life and has been like a fa­ther to me for al­most two decades.

In prepa­ra­tion for the wed­ding, I asked Tom if he would walk me down the aisle. He agreed, and I was thrilled. Re­cently, he has com­mented to oth­ers that he thinks it is in­ap­pro­pri­ate since he is not my fa­ther and does not con­sider me fam­ily. I heard it from some­one he had con­fided in who thought Tom had al­ready spo­ken with me.

I am dev­as­tated and un­sure how to re­act. Tom knows I know but has made no at­tempt to con­tact me to talk de­spite telling oth­ers he would. Should I reach out to him and ask why? Should I wait for his call? I feel like this pain has damp­ened the ex­cite­ment of my up­com­ing wed­ding. — FATHERLESS IN THE EAST

DEAR FATHERLESS: Stay­ing silent will ac­com­plish noth­ing. Pick up the phone, call Tom, tell him what you were told and ask if it is true be­cause it may not be. Some­thing may have been lost in trans­la­tion.

If it IS true, how­ever, re­mem­ber: You are an in­de­pen­dent young woman who can walk her­self to the al­tar. Many women do that these days be­cause they con­sider the act of be­ing “given” in mar­riage to be out­dated. You could also ask a close male or fe­male friend or rel­a­tive to ac­com­pany you.

Whether what you were told is true or not, thank Tom for the im­por­tant role he has played in your life and ex­press your grat­i­tude and af­fec­tion. Do not al­low ANY­THING to cast a pall on your wed­ding day!

DEAR ABBY: I’m a sin­gle woman with noth­ing to do on Satur­day nights. I work full time and keep busy dur­ing most of the year with curl­ing, gui­tar lessons, vol­un­teer­ing at a lo­cal cen­ter, and in­volve­ment in a church care group. I do not have a boyfriend (not for lack of try­ing), and I don’t have neph­ews or nieces. My apart­ment is too small for a pet.

None of my cur­rent friends is avail­able on Satur­day evenings, so I am feel­ing a bit lonely. I need some­thing to look for­ward to on Satur­days — for as cheap as pos­si­ble. I have asked my fam­ily for sug­ges­tions, but they don’t have any. Would you have any ideas for some­one in my sit­u­a­tion? — SULK­ING IN SASKA­TOON, CANADA

DEAR SULK­ING: Saska­toon is not the mid­dle of nowhere. If there is a movie you would like to see, go. And surely there is a pub­lic li­brary. Check out some good books and read them — it will give you some­thing to talk about. Look into tak­ing a dance class or ex­er­cise class. If you do, you may make new friends. Make a point of stay­ing in­formed about what is hap­pen­ing in your city week by week, be­cause there must be plenty go­ing on if only be­cause of its size.

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