List of calories that don’t count
Calories that don’t count:
— The evened-off corner of an uneven piece of cake or loaf of bread
— An after-dinner mint — Anything sugar-free, even if it is loaded with other fattening ingredients
— Anything fat-free, even if it is loaded with sugar — Cake crumbs — Bread crumbs — Cookie crumbs — Pie crumbs — Basically, any crumbs
— Anything eaten after your regular bedtime
— Any treat you share with your dog
— Any treat you would share with your dog, if you had one
— The entire first meal after you weigh yourself and are surprised to see that you have lost weight
— Your children’s leftover food, because you’re helping to fight the problem of food waste
— A lone french fry in the bottom of the bag
— Anything you eat in a car that isn’t fast food
— Anything you drink to replenish yourself after exercising
— Also, maybe a post-exercise cookie
— Raw vegetables, even when dipped in ranch dressing
— Ice cream eaten in your car outside the gym
— Any treat purchased at a coffee shop if you stopped in really intending to only have the coffee
— Unless the coffee drink ends in “-iato” or “-uccino”
— Any food stolen off your spouse’s or significant other’s plate
— If you can’t remember how many drinks you’ve had, the drinks that you can’t remember — Food eaten after a breakup — Anything eaten while reading
— Popcorn at the movies — Food eaten at grandma’s house
— Food on your birthday
— Food on your spouse’s birthday — Food on your kids’ birthday — Food on your dog’s birthday (again, if you have a dog) — Vacation food
— Anything eaten on deadline — Lollipops at the doctor’s office
— Halloween candy stolen from your kids’ bags
— Samples at the supermarket — Doughnuts brought into the office, especially if your office is a newsroom
(St. Louis Post-Dispatch/Tribune News)