Teen self-con­scious about his body hes­i­tates to start dat­ing

The Korea Times - - HOROSCOPE - By Abi­gail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I’m a 19-year-old male and suffer from a predica­ment. Let’s just say my “pack­age has been de­liv­ered un­der­sized.” It is de­press­ing, and it has held me back from go­ing af­ter girls. I de­cline dates be­cause I feel so self-con­scious.

Now, peo­ple are start­ing to ask me why I haven’t had a girl­friend yet. The truth is, I’m ter­ri­fied about the re­ac­tion I’ll get if I ever end up in the bed­room. I’m still a vir­gin be­cause of this large (yet small) dilemma. Do you have any ad­vice on what I should do to fix this? — SMALL PROB­LEM IN THE USA

DEAR SMALL PROB­LEM: As a mat­ter of fact, I do. Males (and fe­males, too) come in a va­ri­ety of sizes, and there is a broad range that de­fines “nor­mal.” Be­cause this both­ers you to the ex­tent that you are afraid of a nor­mal so­cial life, pay a visit to your doc­tor to have an hon­est dis­cus­sion. Size does not nec­es­sar­ily dic­tate the de­gree of sat­is­fac­tion a cou­ple can achieve, and you can take THAT state­ment to the bank.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are 70, mar­ried 44 years and have one adult child. My wife has four friends she meets for cof­fee once a month. One of them men­tioned at the gath­er­ing how proud I am of our son, who has lost 80 pounds due to a dis­ci­plined change in his life­style. My wife was em­bar­rassed that I told her friend. I thought it was a good thing. My wife said it made her look bad in the eyes of her friends, who all por­tray their chil­dren as with­out-blem­ish-per­fect. I told my wife I thought she was very in­se­cure. I am con­fused about her re­ac­tion. Can you give me any in­sight? — IT’S A GOOD THING

DEAR GOOD THING: You did noth­ing wrong. Your son’s achieve­ment is sig­nif­i­cant and to be ap­plauded. Your wife may have pre­ferred her friends not know that her son had a se­vere weight prob­lem, although if they are all “good” friends and any of them had seen him, it would have been ob­vi­ous. Not know­ing your wife, I can’t of­fer more in­sight than that.

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band and I have been mar­ried for only a few months, and I think he is al­ready los­ing in­ter­est. He has stopped say­ing I love you and hasn’t kissed me or given me any af­fec­tion in weeks. I’m afraid he is fall­ing out of love with me, although I have done ev­ery­thing pos­si­ble to keep the love flow­ing. Am I do­ing some­thing wrong, or am I be­com­ing unattrac­tive? Please tell me what to do, Abby. I re­ally want to save this mar­riage. — DES­PER­ATE WIFE

DEAR DES­PER­ATE: Rather than try to read your hus­band’s mind or guess the rea­son for his change in be­hav­ior, ask him calmly about it. His change in be­hav­ior may have noth­ing to do with you or the state of your mar­riage. He may be stressed about some­thing, but you will never know un­less you ask.

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