I meticulously peeled off the plastic wrap of the sleek, white Apple box and lifted the lid to my glimmering, lustrous space grey iPhone XR. Carefully stripping the thin outer layer, I popped my matte black case on, holding the iPhone as if it were a newborn baby.
I pranced around the house taking pictures with my new phone, unable to contain the elation of getting a new iPhone after using an old one for five years.
The next day at school, when I was about to show the phone to my friends, one girl quickly flashed her new iPhone 11 in a gorgeous lavender color, saying, “Look at my new phone. I got it yesterday!”
My emotions had dramatically changed, from excited anticipation to the deflated recognition, looking down at my bland, black iPhone. I immediately placed it back in my pocket. And just like that, I wanted something better, newer, and prettier.
That isn’t the first time comparison has put me down. Every time I shop, I put myself in a dilemma between choosing something I genuinely like or choosing the more popular one.
Last summer, I spent days trying to choose between a pink, plaid phone case and a black case with silver stars stitched on.
Initially, I wanted to buy the plaid case, quickly putting it in my shopping cart. But later that night, I scrolled through Instagram and saw two different girls who had the black star case.
“Maybe the black one is a better choice. Many popular and gorgeous girls have it,” I thought. After wasting my whole evening considering which case would be trendier and attractive to people’s eyes, I ended up buying the black star case only to regret it as soon as I opened my package.
This constant jumping onto the bandwagon is only intensified when I use social media. I’m constantly comparing my life to others whether it be their appearance, social life, or luxuries.
Comparing is often inevitable, especially because the internet has taken over my life. Yet the main problem is that I don’t know my limits.
I don’t know when to say no to things that are obviously doing me more harm than good.
I have spent hours scrolling through Instagram, wishing I was skinnier, prettier, richer, and had more friends like all the other girls I constantly fawn over. I sometimes stay up at night and watch beauty vloggers go on vacations, shopping sprees with no budget, and go to parties every weekend while I lay in the dark with school the next day.
Every day, I feel as if I’m being sucked into an endless dark hole of wishing for more. Wishing I had someone else’s life. But I realized as Oscar Wilde quipped, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”