Man’s chronic unemployment creates doubt for future
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 32-yearold woman who has been with my boyfriend, my first and only partner, for 11 years. Overall, our relationship is healthy. He’s smart, kind, supportive, caring, loyal and funny. I can see us getting married and living a happy life together.
The problem is, aside from a few short-term gigs, he hasn’t had a job for the last six years, when he left his office job to move with me for my career. I’ve done well. But although he has applied for all sorts of jobs — sales, admin, medical, police, government, fast food — no one has hired him.
Last year, he developed a heart condition, and he can no longer perform physical labor. He also suffers from depression. So, I’ve been paying for nearly everything. I’m lucky not to have credit card debt, but at age 32, I have no retirement savings. My job barely covers living expenses for us and our pets.
I want to progress in life and have an equal partner. We’ve discussed marriage, and I think he’s “the one.” But how long should I hold out hope of him finding a job? Do I just keep on hoping, or do I consider ending things and breaking both our hearts? — BURDENED IN FLORIDA
DEAR BURDENED: Has it occurred to you that the reason the man you love has been unable to find employment all this time may be connected to his depression? It would benefit you both if he consulted a doctor and sought treatment for it. Free and low-cost counseling is available
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(May 21-June 20): Learn all you can before you start something new. Check your sources for validity first. Time is on your side, and doubt is your warning sign to sit tight. Maintain integrity, and abide by the rules and regulations to avoid penalties. Protect against illness. 5 stars
(June 21-July 22): Control your emotions. Put your energy into learning something exciting or taking a step in a direction that gives your creative side free rein to explore the possibilities. Don’t let your attachment to someone lead to poor financial decisions. 2 stars
(July 23-Aug. 22): Share your thoughts and feelings instead of letting others choose. It’s OK to take a pass or look in a different direction. Assess your situation and adjust to suit your needs. Don’t waste time worrying about the decisions others make. Do your own thing. 4 stars
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t spend on things you don’t need. Pay attention to how you look and feel. Start
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through the county, as well as through colleges and universities with departments of psychology. Please explore this before ending your relationship because it could be the solution to your problem.
DEAR ABBY: My sister has become very interested in Zen meditation. I’m afraid she has become obsessed with it. She spent a week at a special meditation workshop during which she said she meditated all day, every day to the point that her back hurt from sitting so much. She’s now saying she wants to become a Zen priest, which necessitates spending three months at a Zen center meditating constantly.
My sister has a husband and two teenage daughters I think an exercise regimen or update your appearance. A new look will boost your confidence and give you a fresh start. Address partnership ground rules before agreeing to participate. 3 stars
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Participation will lift you and motivate you to make positive adjustments at home and to your lifestyle. Although change is warranted, a budget will be necessary if you wish to maintain your status quo. Update your image. 3 stars
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A premature change will leave you in limbo. Map out your course of action before you make a move. A situation at home will require patience, discipline and a wellthought-out plan. Don’t underestimate someone who challenges you. 3 stars
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don’t give someone the freedom to decide for you. Stay in control, set high standards and live within your means. Let your actions speak for you, and you’ll
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she’s neglecting. She earned a master’s degree in economics at a prestigious university but works only part time as a bookkeeper to allow more time for her Zen center.
How can I politely persuade her to focus on her family and career, and let Zen meditation be her hobby rather than the focus of her life? — PRIORITIES IN THE WEST
DEAR PRIORITIES: Your sister is an adult, intelligent and capable of making her own decision about the path in life she chooses. Nowhere did you state that her husband and children disagree with it. I do not think your input on this subject, regardless of how “politely” you offer it, will be welcomed. Keep your opinion to yourself unless asked for it. avoid getting into a dispute with someone trying to dismantle your plans. Follow your heart. 4 stars
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Updates will influence the outcome of something you are working toward. Before you move forward, check the information you have on file and adjust costs or interest rates. Don’t take shortcuts that can lead to miscalculations. 2 stars
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Deal with important matters first. Set a budget and stick to your plans. Don’t let outside influences tempt you to get involved in something that isn’t in your best interest. Take the initiative, be creative and launch what’s affordable and makes the most sense. 5 stars
(Feb. 19-March 20): Tidy up, plan and budget, and prepare to turn your objective into a reality. Source the cost and adjust your plans to avoid debt. When dealing with authority figures, partners and institutions, keep your emotions in check. 3 stars