‘Pretty flower man’
For my birthday in 2010, my first North Korean refugee friend gave me a cap with the words “Pretty Flower Man” written in Korean, which translates to handsome and cool man. I often wore it, including when I was a rapper in a music video. A screenshot from that video has been the only cover photo I have used since I joined Facebook in July 2012.
“Pretty Flower Man” became my nickname among many North Korean refugees, due to that cap, the video, and a 2014 radio report broadcast to North Korea by Praise Chanyang Ju where I was publicly labeled as such.
As the years passed and I gained weight, I stashed the cap away. More years and weight later, and I am not even sure where the cap is now. I am more like “Pretty Flower Man,” emeritus.
Friends who see the rap video tell me, “Wow, you were so handsome and cool.” Some of the smarter ones would add, “You are still handsome and cool, but you looked even better then.”
“Yes, I used to be so handsome,” I will tell them, “but not now.” Some fall into my punchline trap by asking, “Really? When did you stop being handsome?” My answer: “Last year.” Some of them realize that I had been giving that same answer for several years.
Last year when I checked my weight, I suspected the scale was out of order. I checked another scale and couldn’t deny I was the heaviest I have been in my life. I hadn’t just gained weight — I had gained a person.
I hit the gym, but the gym hit back. As my best friend said years ago, when I exercise, I lose only one thing: my enthusiasm. When I began losing weight, I was suspicious the gym had a fake positive reinforcement gimmick to make me think I was making quick progress. I checked other scales and they all reflected that I was losing weight.
The weight I have lost has overcome a few lines of defense. The first couple of pounds were easy to lose. It was like I had caught some amateur burglars in my home, and they fled as soon as I turned on the lights.
After that, I fought through some unarmed part-time security guards, then rookie police officers, and then trained fighters all trying to protect that excess weight. I defeated them. I remained consistent, and as I write this I have lost 41 pounds (19 kilograms) since November. I anticipate entering guerilla warfare in the next phase as it gets tougher to lose weight.
If there is a downside to losing weight it is that the clothes I bought in the last few years don’t fit. Pants that fit me comfortably last year without a belt now make me look like a rapper with his pants falling off his butt. I need to buy new clothes, but because I kept the old clothes that were too small, I gifted myself hand-me-downs.
Now when the gym hits back, I counter-punch with my workout buddies by bringing my office with me. I walk on the treadmill with my iPad on the tablet mount to watch music videos, listen to documentaries, and read my Korea Times columns and blog posts; my iPhone in my pocket to listen to podcasts and music; a mobile fan to keep me cool and chilled water. My setup is elaborate and has me wondering when someone will create an office desk with a treadmill underneath. With entertainment to counterpunch the boredom, I go to the gym once or twice a week, daily some weeks, and sometimes even after midnight.
Counterpunching the gym has been helpful, but the big game-changer was eating in a healthy way that fit my style. For years I ate out because I rarely cook anything that requires more than three steps. Step one was usually taking the food out of the package and step two usually involved opening the microwave door. Thanks to Freedom Speakers International co-founder Lee Eun-koo, I consistently have healthy food and water delivered directly to my door. Going out less often also means fewer temptations to buy sweet snacks and other delicious things. God may have a plan for everything, but why couldn’t an all-powerful being have made broccoli delicious and strawberry cake healthy?
Some friends immediately recognize the difference in me, and unprompted, started calling me a “Pretty Flower Man” again. Some still give me advice about organic food, weightlifting, jogging, yoga or something besides what is working for me. I ignore them and continue with my style.
The future may be challenging as I storm the Bastille to lose more weight. For the first time in a while, I looked for my “Pretty Flower Man” cap.
Casey Lartigue Jr., (CJL@alumni.harvard.edu) is co-founder of Freedom Speakers International with Lee Eun-koo and co-author with North Korean refugee Songmi Han of her memoir “Greenlight to Freedom.” He blogs at “Workable Words” for the Korea Times and on Patreon.