Death of dad may be assisted suicide
Dear Abby: I’m convinced my father’s wife killed him and I don’t know where to turn. He had fought complications from quadruple bypass surgery for a few years, and had been in hospice for months prior to his death. My siblings and I didn’t put all the pieces together until afterward.
Although I’m sure Dad was killed, based on facts and discussions with social workers, I’m pretty sure it was assisted suicide, which is illegal in most states, including the state where he lived. I feel cheated and angry at my father’s wife for not having the guts to talk to us about his plans, and Dad for relying on her to tell us when she never had a good relationship with any of us. I’m also angry with myself for not stopping what I witnessed as it happened before my eyes. How could I have been so blind?
It has been several years now, and I still feel guilty for letting it happen, although I’m not sure how I could have stopped it. Your thoughts would be appreciated.
— Angry son in Georgia
By Abigail Van Buren
My sister “Mary” was in a car accident when she was in her 20s that left her with some brain damage. She appears normal, but has trouble with interpersonal relations, boundaries and impulse control. Overall, her behavior varies from acceptable to belligerent. When she was evaluated by professionals years ago, our family was advised to set standards for her behavior as near to normal as possible.
When we go to restaurants, Mary has a hard time deciding what to order, often engaging the server in an uncomfortable, long conversation about the alternatives. When her meal arrives, she is rarely satisfied with her choice and makes a scene over her dissatisfaction to the server. If we try to intervene, she becomes even more belligerent.
She looks forward to going out and we love her dearly. We would hate to exclude her from these family outings, but we don’t know what to do. Can you help?
— Impossible to digest in Washington State