Me and nurse Bronnie Ware
Other Voices
Australian nurse Bronnie Ware has worked all her life to care for patients who are about to die, because of illness or old age or those where medicine has failed to prolong their death.
Bronnie was, by virtue of the requirements of her job, encouraging and supporting her patients, and while they were on their deathbed asking them about what they regretted most in their lives, and writing it down in her notebook. Years later,she wrote an article in which she explained the most important reasons for their regrets, and it turned out that the most of them regretted not having the courage to lead the life they wanted to. Many of them have many dreams, but the fear of “people’s words” caused them to forget it or postpone it until it became very difficult to achieve.
Therefore, when we notice that our health is beginning to deteriorate, we must not postpone doing the things that we always wanted to, or what we were dreaming of.
From the article, it became clear that the percentage of men who complained about this situation was higher than women, because they did not enjoy seeing their children grow as they were busy working, nor did they enjoy accompanying their parents at the end of their lives.
The majority also regretted suppressing their feelings and the inability to express what was going on in their minds, in the belief this was the only way to safety and survival and escape from problems.
For this reason many people end up living a normal, boring traditional life, which is inherited through remorse, and deprive themselves from exploiting their capabilities to the maximum.
Also, this psychological and moral suppression result in diseases that increase their sufferings. As for those who are able to express their feelings, they often are in peace with the soul, and will feel deeper inner comfort.
These patients also regretted their intense fear of taking risks, such as traveling to far and strange places, or refusing to get on the plane or a ship to travel, or meet new friends, and so on.
As they wished, if they continued their relationships with their friends, there are no more beautiful moments that we spend with a sincere old friend, who loves you, and not for something else.
They also regretted not being careful, or making enough efforts, to maintain the ties of friendship, and not to break them, in order to grow and continue.
And they regretted not knowing that happiness is a personal choice. In the midst of their daily struggle with the requirements of life, they forgot the meaning of happiness. The fear of change made them fake their inner feelings, and they convinced themselves that what they had was a sufficient reason to feel happy, and for this they lived with a false feeling that ended in remorse at a later stage.
When you fear people’s opinion of you, and when you fear going out of the ordinary, and when you live according to what is traditional and repetitive, you deprive yourself of true happiness. When you lie on the deathbed, the last thing that you will be worried about is the opinion of people about you, and their belief in you.
On the other side, how much is a smile of contentment about yourself on your face when you are lying about thinking how you lived your life over the years, and did what you wanted, and you were true to yourself, and achieved your dreams, and you truly loved those who loved you and those who made you loyal.
If you are reading this article, and you have reached this point, do not think it is too late. Be honest with yourself, with your feelings and with your dreams, live your life honestly, live and work with your children and your parents, not for them.
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