Break Up With Your Phone

It’ s time you had the talk with your so­cial me­dia

CLEO (Malaysia) - - CONTENTS -

Envy.It’ s lit­er­ally a deadly sin. Yet why do we all al­low our­selves to suc­cumb to it ev­ery sin­gle mo­ment of our mod­ern lives? Your men­tal health hang sin the bal­ance, and it doesn’t even need to in­volve a cy­ber bully bring­ing you down. It seems that you can even lay the trap for your­self, and you put your­self into a vi­cious cy­cle just by a scroll of your feed. What’ s scari­est about this is that it’ s all on us. Let’ s get some­thing straight—ev­ery­one ex­pe­ri­ences envy from time to time; that’ s per­fectly okay .“First and fore­most, ev­ery­one should ac­cept the fact that they’ re ex­pe­ri­enc­ing such feel­ings. This is the first step to over­com­ing de­nial and to start work­ing on the prob­lem ,” says Ms R.R. Man­jari, Con­sul­tant Clin­i­cal Psy­chol­o­gist at Gle­nea­gles Me­dini Hospi­tal . How­ever, what ’ s not okay?

WHERE IS THE LINE

When you’ re con­tin­u­ously feed­ing that feel­ing by stalk­ing some­one till you’ re years deep into their Face­book or Ins tag ram feed, what good is that go­ing to bring? A study con­ducted by the Univer­sity of Copen­hagen in 2016 showed that Face­book made its par­tic­i­pants un­happy, and made those who ex­pe­ri­enced envy to be de­pressed. In fact, par­tic­i­pants who took a week-long break from the so­cial site showed signs of be­ing hap­pier and scored their own well-be­ing tobe higher than it was pre­vi­ously.

While it’ s un­re­al­is­tic form os to­fus to com­pletely move away from so­cial me­dia, we have in­sight as to what could be the real prob­lem.

LOOK AT YOUR CON­FI­DENCE

“The use of so­cial me­dia can be per­ceived to be a way of keep­ing in touch with loved ones—which can bed one pri­vately or shared pub­licly, which falls un­der a dif­fer­ent mo­tive. The lat­ter can have a neg­a­tive im­pact on in­di­vid­u­als with low self-es­teem and self­con­fi­dence. Peo­ple with high self-con­fi­dence are less neg­a­tively

Keep your ex­pec­ta­tions, goals, pur­pose in life and re­spon­si­bil­i­ties in life in check. Once each of th­ese as­pects are some­what clear, it will be easy to move on from feel­ings of envy.

im­pacted by so­cial me­dia than those with lower self-con­fi­dence. By con­stantly com­par­ing your­selves to the ap­par­ently‘ per­fect’ lives on­line, so­cial me­dia can cause those with low self-con­fi­dence to be­come more en­vi­ous , anx­ious or even de­pressed. And all due to t he no­tion that some­one else seem stole ada bet­ter life than them or has some­thing that they don’t ,” ex­plained Ms Man­jari.

A lit­tle prac­tice we’ve found use­ful? List out the things about your­self that you like or you’ re proud of—es­pe­cially dur­ing times where you’ re just not feel­ing your­self. Or grab a friend for a lit­tle pep talk!

RE­MEM­BER: THE IN­FI­NITE FIL­TERS

Al­ways re­mind your­self that it’ s sci­en­tific ally-proven that us hu­man are way more likely to share pos­i­tive things on so­cial me­dia over neg­a­tive ones. Psy­chol­o­gists re­fer to this as‘ po­si­tion­ing your­self the way you want tobe seen ’. Ms Man­jari adds ,“Re­mem­ber, like pictures, some­one’ s so­cial me­dia feed is merely a snap­shot of their life .”

Be­fore you start think­ing ,” Why is this per­son get­ting a pro­mo­tion ?” or” She’s al­ways on hol­i­days ”, stop and think—do you know the amount of work this in­di­vid­ual had to put into get that pro­mo­tion? Are you putting in the same amount of ef­fort? And do you ac­tu­ally know what they’ re go­ing through? The truth is that they’ re most likely por­tray­ing just the best, fil­tered bits of their lives. It’ s just that we can’t help com­par­ing our­selves—nip it in the bud by stop­ping your­self.

RE­DE­FINE YOUR­SELF

Go through the list of peo­ple you fol­low and Ins tag ram and be hon­est with your­self. Have you out­grown cer­tain role mod­els or celebs whom you fol­low? Which of th­ese ac­counts elicit envy the most in you? You can sim­ply hi tun fol­low, but it’ s also your chance to delve deeper.

What is it about th­ese posts that makes you en­vi­ous? Are you en­vi­ous of a fit­ness trainer who has a bang­ing body? Are you en­vi­ous of so­cial in­flu­ence rs who seem to live that jet-set­ting life­style? Maybe deep down there’ s some­thing you per­son­ally feel you’ve not achieved that’ s caus­ing the envy to bub­ble up. Work on your­self on your own pace.

Ms Man­jari ’s ad­vice? “Keep your ex­pec­ta­tions , goals , pur­pose in life and re­spon­si­bil­i­ties in life in check. Once each of th­ese as­pects are some­what clear, it will be easy to move on from feel­ings of envy .”

It Girl starter- pack: Fancy bag, fancy cof­fee, fancy phone

I s the Vic­to­ria’s Se­cret An­gel life all that glam as they por­tray on the ’gram?

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