Accounts of the First Caveman Who Dreamt, as discovered by Kuah Jenhan.
Blade of giant grasses brisk face as Doto run! Not know what Doto run from. Not know what Doto run to. Now suddenly Doto sit with Puba around fire. Doto not know how. Puba is wear loin cloth funny and talking to fire. Doto is weird out and look up but there is no sky! There is no sky! There is sea and Doto feel horror! Doto sudden awake and hold grass nearby and fast-breath! That is first happening of this. Soon Doto will discover Doto is first homo-erectus to dream!
Doto is rub eye and check sun. Oh no! Doto late for town hall and fast rush to Gathering Space. Cave-lady at front stone tell Doto go to Meeting Area 2 and Doto is run and cannot wait to tell others what happen when Doto was sleep!
Puba, who is leader of us, say, “Nice Doto to join us, Doto.” Doto look down and hurry to sit empty stone.
“Finally all here. We say name. We go from sunrise direction. Puba start. Puba is Puba and go.”
Doto no remember everyhomo name but can remember at meeting was Nywele, Keki, Chumvi, Mafuta, and Gary.
“Good! Now is time to tell Puba how good Puba is!” Puba say while open hand into sky. “We love fire!” “Thank Puba!” “Ouch hot but amazing!” everyhomo is loud-speak and proud but Doto is silent. “Doto? No good thing for Puba?” “Yes, Puba. Puba is epic?” Puba stare Doto while Puba unibrow drop low.
Doto is clear throat, “Because Puba is make fire! Nevermind fire eat Doto’s mother but now meat is yum yums.”
“But…” Everyhomo is loud-mouthinhale at Doto.
“Mammoth shit! No but!” shout Puba while Puba pound chest and head.
“But when Doto close eye to sleep last night, Doto live another life.”
“Oh my existence! Doto no see darkness? Weird!”, say Keki in bitch manner but Doto tell everyhomo about Doto and the running, Doto and Puba at fire, and Doto and sea above.
“Wow! A sea above? Intriguing! Does it mean that Doto is underwater or water is over Doto? So profound!” say Gary.
“Shut up Gary. No homo cares,” say Puba to Gary. Everyhomo join in. Including Doto because really, no homo care about Gary speak. Gary is no more speak.
Puba flip stone table. “Everything is as is! Sea is where sea is! Not sky place!” Puba forbid Doto to talk about it anymore because Puba say Doto not know what Doto speaking. Meeting is end and everyhomo walk out but suddenly Nywele is approach.
“Why Doto tell mammoth shit? Mammoth shit talk is Gary do. Not Doto,” Nywele say while pick nose. “Doto no mammoth shit. It’s real.” “Doto speak real?” Nywele ask while brush Doto fringe with dirty finger and look into Doto eyes. Doto say he prove it.
Doto untie Nywele’s toga knot on right shoulder and tie knot at back of neck. “Go look at puddle,” Doto say to disgusting girl.
“Oh my word, Doto! No erectus has wear toga like this! Nywele is sudden feel fun and exciting and want mojito!”
Doto explain Doto is saw in sleep. Some things Doto not remembering but somethings Doto remember.
“Doto realise this is revolutionary? Doto make thing new in world. This means Puba no longer only erectus to create? Puba will be angry!” Yes, Doto know. Doto saw.
“Well, what Doto call this?” Nywele say while fixing a mud mojito.
Doto put one hand in sky and loudspeak, “Halter toga!” Suddenly Doto is black out.
When Doto awake, many homo is surrounding Doto, Nywele, and Kundu. Kundu is Nywele’s bae and biggest erectus in town. Nywele’s toga is knot on right side like normal again. What happened? Did Doto not see thing as is again?
“How dare Doto touch Nywele!” Kundu loud-speak as his square chests is bounce in fury. Quickly Doto realise black out is because Kundu club Doto head. Nywele step in front Doto to protect.
“Everyhomo listen! Doto is make new thing for world!” Nywele speak.
“Mammoth shit! Everyhomo know only Puba make new thing,” loud-speak Kundu.
“Yes! Doto is mammoth shit!” Gary try to speak from side.
“Shut up, Gary!” everyhomo including Doto say.
As Kundu raise his club, Doto is close eyes. Then Doto hear a collective loud-mouth-inhale. Doto open eye and see Nywele has unknotted her toga and is now wear Doto’s halter-toga style. “Doto make this in his sleep time!” Nywele tell everyhomo. “Hoorgh! Better that rocks!” “Ooh! A style that will definitely stay for many years!”
“So Autumn/ Winter 350,000bp!” loudspeak Chumvi.
(Translator’s note: Cave-people uses bp which means Before Present, commonly used for carbon dating, instead of the conventional bc because religious have not yet found cave-people at that time.)
“So pretty, Nywele! Kundu am a happy biggest erectus!” Kundu say while cry and drop to knee.
“What else Doto create?” asks Kuipo the resident pervert as Kuipo untie his toga to tie a halter toga.
“Well, Doto saw sea where sky suppose is.”
“No way! Doto no see things as is?” say cavemen with biggest nose.
Suddenly, a ball of fiery feces is land near Doto leg! Everyhomo is scream! Puba is come!
“How dare Doto make mammoth shit! Puba only inventor of world! Puba make fire!” loud-speaks Puba while rolling another feces ball.
“Out! Doto no welcome anymore! Doto is not like us! Doto must leave! Doto is not erectus, he is…he is…” Everyhomo is hold breath. “Doto is…a neanderthal! Neanderthal!” “What is that, Puba?” asks Mafuta as everyhomo nod along.
“It mean bad! Stupid! Nonsense! Pure mammoth shit! Puba create fire. Puba is leader and Puba say Doto out!” loudspeak Puba while Puba rub two sticks together to light feces ball. When fire is happen, everyhomo is scared of Puba again and now is tell Doto to get out.
Doto turn around and feel hurt because Doto will miss everyhomo. So Doto say, “Please! Maybe Doto tonight is see more in sleep! Wait, Doto don’t need wait for sleep time to not see thing as is!” Everyhomo is look at Doto quietly.
“For example, everyhomo see hand, but if Doto do this, Doto can think it is insect. See? Doto call this imagination!” Doto say while wiggle fingers.
“Ahh! imagination hands! Help!” scream the erectus crowd in fear and even Keki is faint.
“It can be good! Maybe with imagination, everyhomo can create more things! Like holding big leaf when it is rain? How about new mud drink called a, a coffee? A DIY cave that’s has forever fire?” Doto is excite-speak.
“Go away, Neanderthal! We don’t want your covfefe or whatever.” Puba say while stand in front of erectus crowd.
Doto is deject but then Doto is hear a sweet voice. “Nywele follow Doto! Nywele will learn imagine.” Doto is smile big while Nywele make dirty insect with Nywele dirty fingers.
Kundu is go giant bat shit crazy and rush at Doto but Doto is touch forehead and loud-speak at Kundu, “Kundu is a small mouse! Doto imagine it!” Kundu stop. “Look at Doto destroy us! Leave us alone! Nywele is out too! She is also neanderthal!” Puba is rush to hold Kundu because he is drop to ground in existential crisis while crowd is panic.
“Let’s go, Doto. Let’s imagine a time after present for ourselves,” Nywele say while hold Doto hand with her dirty hands. As Doto and Nywele is walk away. Doto hear the last sound from Doto’s ex-friends.
“Imagination is mother of invention. I think they’ll make many things good but there are also bad mothers. They’ll make things that might destroy them one day too. I can’t imagine what will happen to them!” say Gary while stroke on long beard. “No homo care, Gary!” Everyone is say. Doto is now neanderthal but feel hope. As Doto and Nywele walk further away, Doto is wonder if Nywele hand is natural soggy or is just many nose pickings. Doto has new imagination. Maybe Doto can make jewellery for Nywele with it. Doto shall call them, “Beads by Doto.”