OPINION: THE TRUTH ABOUT TRAVELLING AND LOSING YOUR FRIENDS
WHILE GETTING CLOSE TO PEOPLE HAS NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM FOR THE RELENTLESSLY-POSITIVE SABINA TROJANOVA, SHE REVEALS HOW SHE IS AN EXPERT AT LOSING FRIENDS WHILE MOVING FROM ONE CITY TO ANOTHER.
Scottish blogger and influencer, Sabina Trojanova reveals the hardship she went through to find out what true friendship means.
“Those who know me well might tell you that I don’t do small talk. I often find strangers confiding in me just hours into our meeting. First impressions are my kind of jam. But as time goes by, most of my friendships dissipate, leaving nothing but faint memories and non-committal requests to get a coffee sometime. I spent years trying to figure out why my friendships have such a short shelf life. Did people just not like me once they got to know me better? Was I too full-on? Or was I too protective of my true emotions? It turns out the answer is twofold. The culprit is my lifestyle and my lack of follow-through. I’m 24 and I’ve lived in five different countries. I travel for a living and I literally meet hundreds of new people every year. I’ve become so used to the transient nature of those connections that I’ve stopped trying to hold on.”
HOW IT ALL BEGAN...
“It all started about a decade ago when I was 13 years old and my parents sat me down and told me that my dad had got a promotion. I’d just returned from a school trip to England and didn’t understand what they were saying at first. Their voices were brimming with enthusiasm but I could tell that they were nervous about telling me that we had to move to Vienna, Austria. How do you tell a teenager to pack her bags and say goodbye to everything she’d ever known without sending her into hysterics? It turns out that it isn’t possible. I’d been a good kid up until that moment; nice and considerate. But the prospect of moving to a new country made me lash out like a terrified wild animal. I locked myself in my room and carved the words ‘I hate you’ on the wall with a pair of scissors. Just thinking about it makes me feel awful – oh, my poor parents!
But I understand the fear and confusion that were coursing through my mind. Leaving behind those you know and love, the friendships you’ve built, is difficult. Up until my move to Vienna, I was your regular teenager. Leaving that security behind was the scariest thing I could ever imagine.
My friends and I promised we would message each other every day. Moving abroad wasn’t common in our small town and none of us really knew how to deal with the situation but we were determined to make the best of it. The new school year then started to get a little tricky. There I was, in a new country, forced to speak a language I hadn’t quite mastered and trying to make new friends. In other words, I was a little busy. I realised that I had two options; I could either a) keep living