OPIN­ION: THE TRUTH ABOUT TRAV­EL­LING AND LOS­ING YOUR FRIENDS

WHILE GET­TING CLOSE TO PEO­PLE HAS NEVER BEEN A PROB­LEM FOR THE RE­LENT­LESSLY-POS­I­TIVE SABINA TRO­JANOVA, SHE RE­VEALS HOW SHE IS AN EX­PERT AT LOS­ING FRIENDS WHILE MOV­ING FROM ONE CITY TO AN­OTHER.

Female (Malaysia) - - FEMALE NOVEMBER 2018 -

Scot­tish blog­ger and in­flu­encer, Sabina Tro­janova re­veals the hard­ship she went through to find out what true friend­ship means.

“Those who know me well might tell you that I don’t do small talk. I of­ten find strangers con­fid­ing in me just hours into our meet­ing. First im­pres­sions are my kind of jam. But as time goes by, most of my friend­ships dis­si­pate, leav­ing noth­ing but faint mem­o­ries and non-com­mit­tal re­quests to get a cof­fee some­time. I spent years try­ing to fig­ure out why my friend­ships have such a short shelf life. Did peo­ple just not like me once they got to know me bet­ter? Was I too full-on? Or was I too pro­tec­tive of my true emo­tions? It turns out the an­swer is twofold. The cul­prit is my life­style and my lack of fol­low-through. I’m 24 and I’ve lived in five dif­fer­ent coun­tries. I travel for a liv­ing and I lit­er­ally meet hun­dreds of new peo­ple ev­ery year. I’ve be­come so used to the tran­sient na­ture of those con­nec­tions that I’ve stopped try­ing to hold on.”

HOW IT ALL BE­GAN...

“It all started about a decade ago when I was 13 years old and my par­ents sat me down and told me that my dad had got a pro­mo­tion. I’d just re­turned from a school trip to Eng­land and didn’t un­der­stand what they were say­ing at first. Their voices were brim­ming with en­thu­si­asm but I could tell that they were ner­vous about telling me that we had to move to Vi­enna, Aus­tria. How do you tell a teenager to pack her bags and say good­bye to ev­ery­thing she’d ever known with­out send­ing her into hys­ter­ics? It turns out that it isn’t pos­si­ble. I’d been a good kid up un­til that mo­ment; nice and con­sid­er­ate. But the prospect of mov­ing to a new coun­try made me lash out like a ter­ri­fied wild an­i­mal. I locked my­self in my room and carved the words ‘I hate you’ on the wall with a pair of scis­sors. Just think­ing about it makes me feel aw­ful – oh, my poor par­ents!

But I un­der­stand the fear and con­fu­sion that were cours­ing through my mind. Leav­ing be­hind those you know and love, the friend­ships you’ve built, is dif­fi­cult. Up un­til my move to Vi­enna, I was your reg­u­lar teenager. Leav­ing that se­cu­rity be­hind was the scari­est thing I could ever imag­ine.

My friends and I promised we would mes­sage each other ev­ery day. Mov­ing abroad wasn’t com­mon in our small town and none of us re­ally knew how to deal with the sit­u­a­tion but we were de­ter­mined to make the best of it. The new school year then started to get a lit­tle tricky. There I was, in a new coun­try, forced to speak a lan­guage I hadn’t quite mas­tered and try­ing to make new friends. In other words, I was a lit­tle busy. I re­alised that I had two op­tions; I could ei­ther a) keep liv­ing

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