Growing Up With One Parent
15-year-old Nur Aleyya tells us why she’s got the utmost respect and love for her mum, a single parent, and others like her.
“I learnt that I shouldn’t let others control my life and decide how I should be. My future is in my own hands, not those who bullied me.“
“Single-parent families are quite common these days – I myself come from one. Being a single parent may seem easy but in reality, it’s not. Single parents have to juggle their social life, work, children, and housework. Some don’t even have time for themselves. That’s why, to me, single parents are the strongest and most amazing people in the world. They’re able to juggle the duty of being both a mother and a father to their children. I’m sure no one wants to be a single parent unless they have to. They become one for a certain reason, such as an unintended pregnancy, divorce, the death of their spouse, or by choice.
Single parents have to be strong not just physically but also mentally (the most important). They have to be consistent, conscientious and creative in keeping the family together. Luckily, we have social media to support them, as well as some organisations that lend a helping hand. That’s because our generation has now accepted single parents into society and it’s no longer considered shameful. Everyone is willing to help in one way or another. Still, having the support of true friends is very important.
Children from a family with one parent also need to be mentally strong, because kids these days can be very mean. They don’t care about the feelings of those they tease and hurt by their actions. I don’t feel there is anything wrong with being in a single-parent household. My parents divorced in 2014 when I was in standard four. At that time, I didn’t really understand what was going on. It’s hard to grow up with only one parent but my mum works really hard to make our lives easier.
She tries to act strong but I know deep down, she’s in pain. Yet, she keeps everything to herself because she doesn’t want to make me and my brother worry. Until today, I wonder what life would be like if my parents didn’t get a divorce. Sometimes I ask God, “Why am I born in this type of family?” But at the end of the day, I’m still grateful to have my mum beside me through thick and thin. She supports me in my ambitions to be a singer, chef and maybe even a hairdresser. She also gives me all the support I need in my studies and extra-curricular activities. She even gives me advice on how to survive in the real world.
THE STRENGTH TO GO ON
At one time, I went through a depressive phase because I was constantly getting bullied at school. My mum was there for me through the stages of my depression and anxiety attacks. She advised me to just ignore the bullies and continue living life with positivity. I learnt that I shouldn’t let others control my life and decide how I should be. My future is in my own hands, not those who bullied me. Mum takes care of my brother and I like we’re made of glass. We are very precious to her. I feel guilty whenever I can’t help her financially but I try to be there for her by listening to her problems.
Okay, enough with the sad things ahahaha. My mum is an awesome woman – she’s kind, caring, loving, smart, hard-working, a great person to be around, funny… basically amazing la hahaha. Whenever I’m nervous about going up on stage for a performance or a competition, she will help to calm me down from a panic attack. She always says we are the world to her and if anything were to happen to us, she would die.
I know every parent thinks that way about their child, but I think single parents really mean it more than those without a broken family. Why do I say this? It’s because single parents handle everything alone. They don’t take or do things for granted. I know my mum gets panic attacks or feels nervous when my brother and I have something on, but she never shows us her fear. How single parents do this just amazes me. Watching what my mum has gone through makes me a little stronger and also a better person. I try my hardest in everything I do, so that I can help her in the future.
Single parents are basically the best. I’m very grateful to have my mummy in my life.”