Grow­ing Up With One Par­ent

15-year-old Nur Aleyya tells us why she’s got the ut­most re­spect and love for her mum, a sin­gle par­ent, and oth­ers like her.

Herworld (Malaysia) - - HER STORY -

“I learnt that I shouldn’t let oth­ers con­trol my life and de­cide how I should be. My fu­ture is in my own hands, not those who bul­lied me.“

“Sin­gle-par­ent fam­i­lies are quite com­mon th­ese days – I my­self come from one. Be­ing a sin­gle par­ent may seem easy but in re­al­ity, it’s not. Sin­gle par­ents have to jug­gle their so­cial life, work, chil­dren, and house­work. Some don’t even have time for them­selves. That’s why, to me, sin­gle par­ents are the strong­est and most amaz­ing peo­ple in the world. They’re able to jug­gle the duty of be­ing both a mother and a fa­ther to their chil­dren. I’m sure no one wants to be a sin­gle par­ent un­less they have to. They be­come one for a cer­tain rea­son, such as an un­in­tended preg­nancy, di­vorce, the death of their spouse, or by choice.

Sin­gle par­ents have to be strong not just phys­i­cally but also men­tally (the most im­por­tant). They have to be con­sis­tent, con­sci­en­tious and creative in keep­ing the fam­ily to­gether. Luck­ily, we have so­cial me­dia to sup­port them, as well as some or­gan­i­sa­tions that lend a help­ing hand. That’s be­cause our gen­er­a­tion has now ac­cepted sin­gle par­ents into so­ci­ety and it’s no longer con­sid­ered shame­ful. Ev­ery­one is will­ing to help in one way or an­other. Still, hav­ing the sup­port of true friends is very im­por­tant.

Chil­dren from a fam­ily with one par­ent also need to be men­tally strong, be­cause kids th­ese days can be very mean. They don’t care about the feel­ings of those they tease and hurt by their ac­tions. I don’t feel there is any­thing wrong with be­ing in a sin­gle-par­ent house­hold. My par­ents di­vorced in 2014 when I was in stan­dard four. At that time, I didn’t re­ally un­der­stand what was go­ing on. It’s hard to grow up with only one par­ent but my mum works re­ally hard to make our lives eas­ier.

She tries to act strong but I know deep down, she’s in pain. Yet, she keeps ev­ery­thing to her­self be­cause she doesn’t want to make me and my brother worry. Un­til to­day, I won­der what life would be like if my par­ents didn’t get a di­vorce. Some­times I ask God, “Why am I born in this type of fam­ily?” But at the end of the day, I’m still grate­ful to have my mum be­side me through thick and thin. She sup­ports me in my am­bi­tions to be a singer, chef and maybe even a hair­dresser. She also gives me all the sup­port I need in my stud­ies and ex­tra-cur­ric­u­lar ac­tiv­i­ties. She even gives me ad­vice on how to sur­vive in the real world.

THE STRENGTH TO GO ON

At one time, I went through a de­pres­sive phase be­cause I was con­stantly get­ting bul­lied at school. My mum was there for me through the stages of my de­pres­sion and anx­i­ety at­tacks. She ad­vised me to just ig­nore the bul­lies and con­tinue liv­ing life with pos­i­tiv­ity. I learnt that I shouldn’t let oth­ers con­trol my life and de­cide how I should be. My fu­ture is in my own hands, not those who bul­lied me. Mum takes care of my brother and I like we’re made of glass. We are very pre­cious to her. I feel guilty when­ever I can’t help her fi­nan­cially but I try to be there for her by lis­ten­ing to her prob­lems.

Okay, enough with the sad things aha­haha. My mum is an awe­some woman – she’s kind, car­ing, lov­ing, smart, hard-work­ing, a great per­son to be around, funny… ba­si­cally amaz­ing la ha­haha. When­ever I’m ner­vous about go­ing up on stage for a per­for­mance or a com­pe­ti­tion, she will help to calm me down from a panic at­tack. She al­ways says we are the world to her and if any­thing were to hap­pen to us, she would die.

I know ev­ery par­ent thinks that way about their child, but I think sin­gle par­ents re­ally mean it more than those with­out a bro­ken fam­ily. Why do I say this? It’s be­cause sin­gle par­ents han­dle ev­ery­thing alone. They don’t take or do things for granted. I know my mum gets panic at­tacks or feels ner­vous when my brother and I have some­thing on, but she never shows us her fear. How sin­gle par­ents do this just amazes me. Watch­ing what my mum has gone through makes me a lit­tle stronger and also a bet­ter per­son. I try my hard­est in ev­ery­thing I do, so that I can help her in the fu­ture.

Sin­gle par­ents are ba­si­cally the best. I’m very grate­ful to have my mummy in my life.”

PS:Mum­my­said­she­wantsaboyfriend but­she­got­lazy­with­Tin­der-ing.LOL! Ipray­foralls­in­gle­par­entsout­thereto havethebestofluck:)

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