Three Ques­tions

How many ques­tions do you think we ask and an­swer in any given day? Would you be­lieve psy­chol­o­gists and psy­chi­a­trists have stud­ied this? On av­er­age, we ask and an­swer nearly 35,000 ques­tions each and ev­ery day. Thanks to our mo­bile de­vices, this is up abo

Insurance - - CONTENTS - By Sarah J. Kael­berer, CFP, CHFC

Sarah J. Kael­berer tells us how by ask­ing the right ques­tion you can shape a life and help your clients.

So many ques­tions we’re bom­barded with are so in­signif­i­cant, but some of them — the sig­nif­i­cant ones — led us to where we are to­day. Th­ese are the ones where you say, “If it hadn’t been for this, then I wouldn’t be where I am to­day.” We all have a story. I’m go­ing to share with you three ques­tions that got me to where I am to­day.

1. Who do you want to live with?

I will never for­get this ques­tion. Just shy of 12 years old, I sat across a big wooden desk from a judge. He looked over his glasses at me and said, “Sarah Jane De­laney, who do you want to live with, your mom or your dad?” Back in those days, chil­dren of di­vorce had a say in who they lived with. In my lit­tle voice, I squeaked up at him, “My dad.” He closed the folder and put it on the cor­ner of the desk. It was done! Just about a month ear­lier, my old­est sis­ter had sat the seven of us kids down and ex­plained that our par­ents were get­ting di­vorced. She sug­gested we all stay to­gether, and we agreed to live with Mom. We would be bet­ter taken care of un­der her care be­cause, at the time, my dad was deep in the grips of al­co­holism. But when I was asked, even though I knew I was sup­posed to say my mom, my lit­tle mind just could not rec­on­cile how my dad was go­ing to make it with­out any­one. So I said, “My dad.” The day af­ter Thanks­giv­ing, we packed our things and moved out of the fam­ily home. Once in the new ren­tal house, I fell into the role of run­ning the house, from bank­ing, gro­ceries and reg­u­lar house­hold chores. Ev­ery Sun­day night, I would write out all the checks and leave them on the ta­ble for dad to sign. I’d write out the checks for the rent, the util­i­ties, the credit card and any other bill that needed to be paid. This ex­pe­ri­ence taught me the or­gan­i­sa­tional skills and the fi­nan­cial acu­ity I now

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