Ask the Experts
Leticia Hsu of Elysium Weddings shares some dos and don’ts for not just the bride and groom, but those around them too
Wedding planners share some dos and don’ts plus a little bit about their roles
FOR THE BRIDE
DO visit ALL of your wedding guests. Be careful how much time you lock yourself away with your girlfriends, even if you’re sneaking a cigarette. You waste a lot of reception time that way, and the guests are there to see you.
DON’T be bossy with your bridesmaids. In the most traditional sense, your bridesmaids, in particular your maid of honour, are there to stand up for you as you take your vows, to act as witnesses to this solemn event. Somewhere along the lines, bridesmaids have become, well, more like maids, and to an extent there’s nothing wrong with that. But some brides ask (or worse, demand) far more.
FOR THE GROOM
DO be helpful during the wedding weekend. The bride has far more pressure on her than you do, believe it or not. Find out how you can help, and ease her mind whenever you can.
DON’T be M.I.A. with the boys. This is a common problem—much like the bride and her girls in the ladies’ room. Not sure where you boys are disappearing to or why it’s for so long, but it’s very awkward when we announce the cake-cutting and the groom is nowhere to be found.
FOR THE MOTHER AND FATHER OF THE BRIDE / GROOM
DO make an effort to meet and include the other parents (whether the bride’s or groom’s) in your planning. Remember, these other people are your child’s future in-laws, likely to be sharing (or splitting) holidays with you. Getting along now can make things easier later.
DON’T be THE problem; be the solution. Put aside misunderstandings you have with the in-laws or your own personal agendas for the day. The wedding day is about your daughter or son, not about you.
FOR THE MAID OF HONOUR / BRIDESMAIDS
DO have a bridal emergency kit ready even if the bride says she has one—she may be too frazzled to find her safety pins or wet wipes. Be like Dora the Explorer and her crazy backpack, even some fancy chocolate treats would be good to have. Chocolate always helps in a stressful situation. Just don’t eat it anywhere near the wedding gown.
DON’T point out things you think are a problem if the bride hasn’t said anything. If you think the calla lilies are white instead of ivory, don’t say a word unless she says something first. If she does notice, reassure her it’s beautiful, because at that point, it’s going to be too late to do anything about changing her bridal bouquet. Your job is to reassure and try to keep the bride calm.
FOR THE BEST MAN / GROOMSMEN
DO stay sober on the day of the wedding so that you can keep the groom on schedule and make sure he doesn’t forget anything. Make an actual written list of things you need to remember (rings, socks, etc.) and be the guy-behind-the-guy that day, so the groom has it easy. Try to keep the groom sober too, as much as you can.
DON’T turn the toast into a roast, because you’re too drunk or simply because you thought it would be funny (it isn’t). NEVER mention any of his exes in anything you say or do near a microphone. Also, don’t speak of the relationship history of the bride’s side.