Fair and Square
How often have you had your first impressions shot down because you misjudged a person? Sometimes people that you meet may turn out to be not what you expected, as you get to know them better. Which forces you to rethink your initial impressions of that person. We all make snap decisions about someone as we automatically decode verbal and non-verbal cues subconsciously. While your assumption may be right, sometimes (from experience) you can also be proven wrong. In our cover story ( Eat. Play. Love, page 118), Elizabeth Marini admits to making the wrong assumption about her husband Modesto, when she first met him. It was due to the things she had heard about him, which gave her that impression of him. Over time, she realised he’s not what people think he is. In reality, she says he is a very simple man who loves his family, Italian food and movies, as well as the great outdoors. This just goes to show that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover—there’s a reason why people are the way they are, based on their personal experiences, how they were brought up, what they were exposed to and so on. We are the sum of our experiences, after all. In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell subscribes to the idea that decisions or choices are made within the blink of an eye. Our subconscious mind makes rapid judgments within a few seconds without overloading on too much data. But bear in mind that our cognitive processing is prone to subjectivity too, as our brain is hardwired to mental models that influence our thinking, making us jump to conclusions and over-react to situations, according to Elizabeth Thornton, author of The Objective Leader. This causes a lot of stress, miscommunication, and strained relationships. Thankfully, with her helpful explanation on neural science and how we can apply it to ourselves, we can learn to see things as they are and thus respond objectively, thoughtfully and deliberately to the opportunities and challenges that come our way. Adopting a new habit requires time and patience for sure, but remember not to beat yourself up for it if you slip, and stick to the plan. Let this be a year for positive new habits!