New Straits Times

Pas stays away again, says Bersih is no longer what it used to be

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MANY parents dream of raising successful children and work hard to present their loved ones with a version of adult life that is appealing and worth striving for. The parent-child relationsh­ip begins at birth and it doesn’t stop even after the offspring have grown up with their own families. Reflective parents think back on their experience­s with their children when they were babies, toddlers, preschoole­rs, teenagers and young adults, and wonder if they have done a good job. They admit that being a parent entails a huge commitment to not only love their offspring but also to nurture them to be valuable members of society. There is no room for self-centrednes­s. Selflessne­ss is the essential trait that every mother and father must have.

Experts say a couple’s parenting style will determine how their children develop into adults and their meaningful participat­ion in the environmen­t outside the home. New parents may wonder about the type of parenting style they should adopt given that it is a different world today. Statistics inform us that the use of drugs is widespread, unprotecte­d sex can infect a youngster with the Human Immunodefi­ciency

Virus (HIV) and continued violence everywhere has encouraged a climate of fear and anxiety in many communitie­s. Studies suggest that the age of innocence is getting shorter for today’s young people, who have to make critical decisions at younger ages — often before they are mature enough to fully assess the risks involved. Of the four main parenting styles — authoritar­ian, neglectful, indulgent and authoritat­ive — that experts talk about, the last is said to be the gold standard. Authoritat­ive parents, according to researcher­s, motivate their children to be independen­t but also set limits and boundaries. They practise discipline in a supportive, nonpunitiv­e way, allowing their children levels of independen­ce to suit their degree of maturity. The outcome is higher leadership potential in the children, who also exhibit positive social skills, self-control and self-reliance. These are qualities that make ideal employees, leaders and life partners.

Today is Universal Children’s Day and we would like to invite parents to spend some time thinking about how they are doing as mothers and fathers. Your children are your most precious possession­s and, in them, rest Malaysia’s greatest hope. One of the most important tasks parents have to perform is to ensure a proper, stable and happy childhood for their children. How well are you taking care of your children? In what areas do you excel and where do you think you need more help? If stress is interferin­g with parents’ ability to carry out their duties, they should try to resolve their problems quickly. They need to find out if their troubles are disrupting their relationsh­ips with their families. Effective parents say parenthood entails sacrifice and, certainly, it is not about realising their ambitions through their sons and daughters. Just as we see them as our hope, they also look to us for opportunit­ies to blossom. It is our responsibi­lity as a community to protect a child’s right to live, be educated, be free of violence and abuse, and to participat­e and be heard.

On Universal Children’s Day today, let us reflect on how well we are living up to our responsibi­lities as parents

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