IT MUST NEVER BE ONLY ABOUT 'As'
HUGE BLOW: This year’s UPSR results saw 4,896 pupils or 1.11 per cent of the 440,782 candidates scoring straight As, far fewer than the previous year. Many parents have asked for the papers to be rechecked, but experts believe it’s time to redefine succes
DEVASTATION, anger, disappointment and a blow to their self-esteem are only some of the emotions many 12-yearolds felt when they received their UPSR results recently. After a year of extra classes and tuition sessions, many are still feeling the pain of scoring fewer As than expected.
If children are taught to measure their self-worth by their exam results, performing below expectation academically can lead to feelings of shame, hopelessness, inferiority, and even self-hatred, warns Rekindle Therapy counselling psychologist Cathie Wu.
She says depression and anxiety may result if these struggles are longterm.
“We are gradually moving away from an obsessed, fixated view on academic excellence due to increasing exposure to diverse occupational choices and success stories not traditionally founded on academic performance.
“However, traditional Asian education values are deeply rooted. Therefore much importance continues to be placed on academic excellence as a requisite to prestigious careers,” she adds.
But, if children can be encouraged to develop mindsets and attitudes with resilience, tenacity and good work ethics, they will learn not to give up easily despite failure and will continue to strive to improve themselves.
Wu says one can determine success solely by external factors, such as power, fame, wealth and influence, or perceive it as a summation of external and internal elements.
“I like to see personal success less as an end goal but more as a development in the pursuit of personal satisfaction, achievement and purpose.
“It can be a good opportunity to have a mutual dialogue about what these results mean and do not mean; to seek to understand what factors may have contributed to sub-par results; how to cope with disappointment without denigrating the self; and how to continue to commit to the learning process.”
We should pay attention to the continuing process of teaching and supporting these values in the family rather than a “crisis intervention” talk following an undesirable performance, Wu adds.
Dr Anasuya Jegathevi Jegathesan, licensed counsellor and academic head of the Masters in Counselling Programme at HELP University says while it may be bad for straight A students to get Bs and Cs, what about the majority of average students who are used to getting solid Bs, a couple of As and a C?
“Out of the blue they are for the first time in a government exam, faced with far lower grades. Average students who have studied, as hard as they could, and were comfortable with being average are suddenly failures. Forget academic performance, how does being a ‘failure’ impact anyone? Really badly.
“Most students probably did not expect bad results. They’re left to deal with reactions such as: ‘What? How could you fail? I thought you studied!’. How will a 12-year-old recover from that quick and deep cut? All the reasoning that comes later for some of the kids will not treat the wound because their self-esteem has already been damaged,” she adds.
Anasuya says we should be adopting systems that look at a child’s development and not marks and memorisation.
“But the change has to start with the idea of what education and
This is a delicate issue and if wrongly handled could lead to many adverse consequences such as performances getting even worse, alienation of the child from their parents, resorting to drugs, even leading to suicide in many instances.
Dr Michael Heah
learning is. It is not the memorising and vomiting of facts, rather it is the development of children into active human beings — something that we have failed at.”
How do we rise above this? Anasuya offers a three-step action plan.
“Firstly, we make sure we do not punish children for the system’s failure — expectations and demands for marks as children grow have to be shifted so that unfair comparisons are not made. Do not compare your children to anyone else, each human is unique and different — value the differences.
“Secondly, love your children. Talk to them about things other than studies, family problems and issues. Talk to children about what they are interested in. If kids can talk to you about unimportant things like Pokemon Go, the really nice chocolate cake and the butterfly they saw in class, as they grow up they may be able to talk to you about important things. If they are not willing to talk to you, you have to initiate the conversation. Tell your kids about interesting things in your day, about work and life, model the openness that you would like them to have with you.
“Finally, discuss your own failures, and give examples of those who have failed and risen above it. Make sure you manage your own sense of failure. Parents need to be okay with the situation first before they can help their child be okay.”
Chief executive officer of Corporate Coach Academy and International Coach Federation (ICF) Master Certified Coach Dr Michael Heah echoes her opinion.
He notes that Malaysians are still obsessed with academic excellence, especially the middle and upper class members of society.
“Many of them send their children to private schools, even to international schools and an overseas education after that.
“This puts a lot of pressure on the child, but more so on parents who in turn ‘pass’ it down to their children. They inevitably become the real ‘victims’ of this system.”
Heah reminds parents that failure is not always a bad thing, but a time to make a total re-assessment of the educational plan and strategy for the child. “Parents need to know that there are nine types of intelligence — natural intelligence, musical intelligence, linguistic intelligence, spatial intelligence, emotional intelligence, intrapersonal intelligence, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, existential intelligence and logicalmathematical intelligence. Any of these types, if it fits with the child’s special skill, can also lead to the child’s success.”
He says the root causes of a “bad performance” should be identified first before speaking to the child.
“Often the child may not like what they are learning, it may not be an issue of poor discipline. Taken from this perspective, the conversation should centre around finding the best fit for the child rather than warning them to buck up.
“This is a delicate issue and if wrongly handled could lead to many adverse consequences such as performances getting even worse, alienation of the child from their parents, resorting to drugs, even leading to suicide in many instances.”
Seeing a career coach or doing a psychometric assessment will help parents plan smartly and strategically for the child’s future where he achieves both success and fulfilment, Heah adds.