Character building goes a long way

WHEN it comes to dealing with children, one of the best things parents can do is build their character. This does not happen overnight; it takes years of practice and lots of patience because character is not easy to mould.

There is a Malay saying “melentur buloh,

biar dari rebung”, which means if you want to bend a bamboo, you should do it when it is still young. This applies to raising children too.

Their character will determine their long term success. Talk to any physiologist, and chances are they will tell you that character building is much more important than academic achievement.

Building a strong character begins with instilling self-confidence in our kids. Unfortunately, many parents do the opposite on a daily basis. Unknowingly, they destroy their children’s self-esteem with their words and actions. For example, when a child makes a simple mistake, parents are quick to condemn and criticise without checking the real reason for it. This is very damaging because once a child’s confidence is destroyed, it’s very difficult to do other things.

Talking about competency, children are an innocent bunch. They do not know things that adults do. Yet, many parents measure their children with an adult yardstick and that is a recipe for disaster. For example, when parents ask their kids to tidy up their room, they expect perfection. When the child fails to deliver, they bombard the child with negative comments, and criticism. It will definitely undermine their confidence and even bring down their dignity.

A better strategy is to understand what our children are going through on a daily basis. What’s important to them are their priorities, problems and obstacles. We should understand what works best when it comes to measuring our children’s abilities. Each of them is unique, therefore, one yardstick will not fit all. Instead, we should understand what they are really good at and the areas they need to improve on. Once we do, a new picture begins to form. This is where parents will begin to realise how special their children are after all. Each is unique in his or her own way.

Gone are the days when parents stressed over every little thing. Instead, they will feel joy in raising children who are capable of doing anything if the parents are able to shape their characters in the right way.