Creating independent kids
LAST Thursday, our nation proudly celebrated her 60th year of independence. It was an important milestone as being independent is a dream come true for everyone. Let’s face it, nobody likes to be shackled by anyone or anything. We want to be able to live our life free.
Bringing this concept home, have you considered how “free” your children are from shackles? The chains that bind can come in many forms, from overly protective and controlling parents to highly dependent children. Let’s take a look at how we can all create more independent children.
Most of the time, parents fail to train their kids to be independent. They may think the child is too young, unable to do things on their own or it’s just not their job. This is a wasted opportunity because children need to be trained to be independent.
Besides, imagine what kind of signals we’re sending if we keep doing everything for them? Children will feel that they are not capable enough to do it by themselves, leading to poor self-esteem as well as limited creative and critical thinking. All these are critical skills that they need to lead a fulfilling, successful life.
So, what can we do today to start preparing them for the future? I call this step “Creating Artificial Struggles”. It’s for them to do hard work today for an easier tomorrow. There are plenty of smart and easy ways to train our kids to be independent. Start by assigning them a specific chore at home. In doing so, we are actively training them to take up some responsibilities in life. They will be rewarded (e.g. praises) for a job well done. Similarly, they will be held accountable (with pre-agreed consequences) if they fail to deliver. Please note though, avoid monetary or material rewards here as these are their must-do responsibilities anyway. Just heap praises where due will do. This is the concept that I borrowed from the “delayed gratification” concept where one can enjoy the reward after working for it.
ASSIGN DUTIES
It is a great training. Not only do we significantly reduce the work per person via sharing, we also get to train them on life skills such as responsibility, teamwork, discipline and time management.