Myths about rape have allowed many perpetrators to get away with their crime

Some other myths include:

are most likely to be raped after dark by a stranger, so women shouldn’t go out alone at night. First of all, the vast majority of rapes are committed by people known to the victim. Secondly, rape can occur anywhere — at home, workplace, just anywhere.

often lie about being raped because they regret having sex with someone or out of spite or for attention. How this is a popular myth is beyond understanding. Why would anyone claim rape for attention? This myth perpetuates the perception that lying about rape is common, when quite the opposite is true. Most victims do not report rapes.

young and attractive women are raped. You can be of any age and still be raped. Even octogenarians have fallen victim. Rape, after all, is about power, violence and control, not sex. It doesn’t matter what age, appearance or ethnicity the victim happened to be.

like playing hard to get... sometimes “no” means “yes”. This one is simple. “No” means “no”, even if you think she means “yes”. Oh, and even if she says “yes”, she can change it to a “no” at any time she wants.

Due to these myths and others like them, many a sexual offender has gotten away with his or her crime (yes, men can be raped too, and women can rape other women). Being raped is, of course, a traumatic experience. Having to deal with the trauma is bad enough, but when one has to live with the unnecessary and unfair stigma attached to being a victim, it is unbearable, to say the least.

Because of this, many victims prefer to keep things quiet, letting the perpetrator get away with the crime. But this is not the only way myths allow offenders to get away. These are often used as defence arguments, putting the blame squarely on the victim.

Here in Malaysia, as in many parts of the world, there are many who help propagate such myths. Sadly, many don’t even know that they are doing so. What is needed is for everyone to realise and remember that rape, or any crime for that matter, is the fault of the perpetrator, not the victim.

It’s all about choices. We know the difference between right and wrong. If we choose to do wrong, then we are the ones at fault.

The writer has more than two decades of experience, much of which has been spent writing about crime and the military. A die-hard Red Devil, he can usually be found wearing a Manchester United jersey when outside of work