Why children run away from home
LATELY, we’ve been hearing of cases of young boys or girls going missing from home. We’ve read the heartfelt pleas from desperate parents urging their young ones to come back. We’ve also learnt about why these cases are happening — from criminal reasons to social issues such as unbearable pressures at home.
Whatever the reason, the consequences are devastating. As parents, missing children top the list of our most dreaded event. No amount of money and material gains can compensate for this kind of loss. Recovery, if any, will be long and painful.
While many cases of missing children have involved criminal elements, the same cannot be said for cases involving teenagers.
Some actually voluntarily run away from home. What makes it a tragedy is the fact that in many cases, it could have been prevented.
We can take the basic safety measures and pray that our children do not become victims of kidnapping and other crimes.
However, preventing our young ones from running away requires a different strategy and a longer-term effort. LEARN AND IMPROVE It’s about creating a safe haven where everyone feels happy and safe inside. It’s about building a place where they’d find peace and happiness inside.
We can start by assessing our current situation at home. Is it a conducive place for them to play, study and live? Are we providing enough time and attention to each child? Are the rules too rigid or too loose? When was the last time we discussed and agreed on anything as a family?
Answering these questions and more can provide some clues on the state of affairs at home.
We can then take the learning and find ways to improve the situation. Even a seemingly happy and complete home needs a regular review as situations can change very quickly as the children move into a different phase of life.
Our cute and obedient little angels will turn into rebellious teenagers soon. They’ll be ravaged by confusing emotions which may cause unintentional conflicts with parents.
These are just part and parcel of growing up challenges. But many parents are caught unprepared. They still operate in the “old” mode which might have been effective before.
Little children love clear rules and regulations but the older one, especially those in their teenage years, detest them. Enforcing them blindly onto the teenagers will surely create many conflicts.
Prolonged conflicts, coupled with other pressures, can quickly heat up the situation at home. This is when they may start looking for ways to escape the heat. The “way out” may just be running away from home.
The good news is that the same factors can work in our favour if we take action to reverse the trend. Instead of heating up the home environment, let’s cool it off by creating a truly safe haven.
Make a commitment to get the children actively involved in all family discussions. Respect and value their opinions while paying special attention to their complaints and comments.
Use positive and respectful language to influence them. Use our rational thinking ability to overcome the urge to get drawn into an emotional battle.
The journey will not be easy but there’s a big reward awaiting those who can create such a safe haven. No matter how remote the chance is, don’t give them any reason to run away from home. Instead, build a place where they’d love to come running back to!