A family’s worst enemy

IN any movie, there’ll be two conflicting characters — a hero and a villain. Everyone wants to be a hero. This is because in any story, a hero always ends up winning while the villain suffers. But what about our own life story? Have we ever thought about the role we play in our own movie? Are we playing a hero or a villain?

Let’s take a look at this from our family’s perspective. As we go through the day-today motions, we are inadvertently creating our story as we go along. Other “characters” in the story are the people closest to us. They include our spouse, children and other family members.

Just like a movie, our story will also be full of drama, conflicts, incidents as well as happy moments. The plot twist is sometimes beyond our expectation or comprehension. But the story goes on. Everyone continues to play their roles and life goes on.

This is when we must become heroes. As conflicts arise around us, the other characters need someone to save them.

For example, when our children misbehave, we need to rise above our own emotional reaction and look at the situation objectively. Sure, it’s sometimes more satisfying to join in and unleash our own feelings, but will we solve the problem? Or will we just twist the plot further?

I recall a story about Thomas Edison, the great inventor. When he was a primary school child, his headmaster told him that it was his last day of school. Thomas was surprised as it was in a middle of the school term. Sensing his confusion, the headmaster gave him a letter and asked him to pass it to his mother.

Back home, his mother’s eyes were tearful as she read the letter out loud to her child: “Your son is a genius. This school is too small for him and doesn’t have enough good teachers to train him. Please teach him yourself.”

THE HERO PARENT

Thomas was happy as he didn’t need to go to school anymore. His mother taught him well until he was able to make it to college. By then, he had started to invent and quickly became known as one of the world’s great inventors. Soon after, his mother died.

As he put away his mother’s belongings, he found the letter again. But this time, he was shocked to find that letter was not what his mother read. Written on it was: “Your son is addled (mentally ill). This school is too good for him. Our teachers have unanimously agreed to kick him out. Please teach him yourself.”

Not long after, Thomas changed his description on his resume. He wrote: “My name is Thomas Alva Edison. I was an addled (mentally ill) child, but because of my hero mother, I became the genius of the century.”

There are many versions of that story on the Internet. Some have said that it’s not true. However, one fact remains — Thomas Edison was indeed different and hence, probably disruptive in class. He was a curious child who wanted to explore beyond the textbooks.

Now, just imagine if we have an active and curious child, like Thomas. Would we ask him to shut up and be just like any other “obedient” child? Or would we encourage him to go and explore, create more “havoc and trouble”? If we do the former, we’ll probably be the villain by killing off his talent. So, let’s all be a hero mother or father, and not our family’s worst enemy.