The struggle for mental calm

Growing up, Najwa* always felt there was something different about herself. It was not something she could articulate but as long as her parents kept her on her toes at school and at home, no one paid much attention to her inner struggles.

It was the same at secondary school, when her excellent UPSR results got her a place at a boarding school. On the outside, she appeared like a typical highperforming student, getting top results in exams and getting involved in cocurricular activities. But her inner self was a different story.

“To many, I was a top student, but there were times when I got depressed. I was going through these emotions and I didn’t know the reason why, which made things even harder.

After school, I went to a university in the UK but I struggled with my course work. I couldn’t understand why I was so behind my friends. I went to student services and saw a psychologist, who diagnosed me with ADHD” says the 26-year-old.

“I was actually angry when I found out. I finally knew what was going on with me after years of self-hate,” Najwa says.

ALL FIRED UP

Najwa said her ADHD mind is like being inside a moving car with the scenery constantly changing. There’s so much going on that she can’t focus, and becomes

overwhelmed . Her ADHD led to depression, and feeling suicidal and she had to delay her university studies twice.

She finally graduated last year, but she’s yet to join the

workforce. She’s living at home with her parents, taking care of them and running

errands for her mum’s home-based business.

“My ADHD symptoms can be very harmful,” she says. “It’s very hard to be organised and deadlines are my worst enemy. Knowing that I have specific and special needs, I haven’t found a workplace that suits me and I don’t want to be in a position where I succumb to depression again.”

It’s difficult to explain how debilitating ADHD can be and Najwa is thankful for her parent’s support. She enjoys a good relationship with them but that wasn’t always the case.

“When I was small, they couldn’t understand why I was clumsy and why I kept forgetting things. I was easily bored but they didn’t have time to give all their attention to me. It wasn’t a good relationship and I was happy to go to boarding school.

“Talking with my psychiatrist, I realised it’s likely both my parents have ADHD too. So for them, what I was showing was normal. It was easy to ignore my symptoms by saying, ‘oh, you’re just like your mother’ or ‘you’re like your father’. But that doesn’t change how difficult it was for me.”

Now, Najwa is on regular medication for both her depression and ADHD,

coupled with therapy.

PROPER DIAGNOSIS

According to the American Psychiatric Association, ADHD is one of the most common mental disorders affecting children. ADHD is often first identified in school-aged children when they cause distraction in the classroom or problems with schoolwork.

Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur child psychologist Katyana Azman believes the condition is over-diagnosed as parents think an active child is an ADHD child.

Parents tend to “Google-diagnose” their child. It is not wrong for them to want to understand the condition better, but they must get confirmation from medical experts, she says.

“If the child is hyperactive and restless in school, but he is not displaying the same behaviour at home, it is not ADHD.”

Katyana says there are three areas that have to be looked at for diagnosis — inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

Inattention is when they can’t focus long enough and they tend to be disruptive and forgetful as the brain cannot retain information.

Hyperactivity is when they are restless,

fidgety and cannot sit still for normal routines such as doing lessons or having meals.

Impulse control is linked to actions that can lead to them getting hurt all the time. Older children might participate in risky behaviour.

Katyana says when all these criteria are in place, then only can the child be diagnosed. It should not just be based on symptoms when he is at school or at home. * Name has been changed for privacy Adapted from articles in NST’s Life & Times by Aznim Ruhana Md Yusup dated Sep 4, 2018 and Kasmiah Mustapha dated Dec 19, 2017.