COUNSELLING children

KIDS are people with their own ideas and personalities. Counseling can be as difficult for children as it is for adults -sometimes even more so. No matter what the purpose, it is important to remember that communication with children is not the same as it is with adults. There are a variety of counselling techniques to use with children. DEFINING THEIR WORLD

Counseling can be difficult for children because of the implicit difficulty with being a child and relating to an adult, especially an adult they don’t know. It is important to start therapy with a child by understanding his vantage point.

Instead of starting a conversation with assumptions, lead by asking a question in their language. For example, if you see a child showing some signs of distress around his parents’ divorce, don’t say: “I understand you may be sad about your mommy and daddy getting a divorce.”

Try asking a series of questions in a calm, unobtrusive way. For example: “Danny, in your opinion, what do you think the relationship between a mommy and daddy is like?”, “Is your mommy and daddy’s relationship that way?”

“If you were a daddy, what would your day be like?” Asking questions in quasi-third person takes some of the emotion that a child may be feeling out of the immediate situation.

As rapport continues to build, or as the child becomes more comfortable, he will begin to relate the question to how he feels and offer more of an explanation about his personal situation. SHARING THEIR WORLD

Role playing is a conventional technique that is not liked by all, however, the technique can be extremely effective and revealing. Depending on the child’s age, it may be more conducive to ask him to help you write a play about what it’s like at home to better understand him.

Ask the child to play the role of one parent while you play the role of the other. They can help you “write” the script by describing what their mommy or daddy would typically say.

The activity could go on like this, for example. “Danny do you like plays? I think your family is interesting. Can you help me to write a play about your family so I can learn more about you, your mommy and your daddy?” Observe any emotion in the delivery of lines in the play. SHOWING THEIR WORLD

Art therapy can be an incredibly effective form of counselling with children. You don’t have to be a certified art therapist to use art therapy in counselling. Most children are partial to drawing or art and it can be a nice distraction in a situation where they are not comfortable verbally communicating how they feel.

Start by asking the child to draw a picture that shows what his day is like from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed. Observe any differences between the time he is at home, and the time he is outside of the home or at school. If the child seems resistant, sit down with him and offer to the same with the promise that will share your picture, too.