NO SMOOTH PATH TO TRUE LOVE
David and Chris had to convince many people to allow them to marry 54 years ago
WHEN David met Chris, nothing else mattered.
Around this time 54 years ago, groom-to-be Air Despatcher David Drury gave out a sigh of relief as he took the one seat left in the aircraft full of Gurkha soldiers from RAF Changi in Singapore to Kuching. It was just three days before he tied the knot with his fiancee after a whirlwind romance that saw him flying back and forth from Seletar, in Singapore where he was based.
It was in January 1964 when the 22-year-old British serviceman from Gosport on the south coast of England, clapped his eyes on Christina Guan Siew Lin, six years older than him, sitting on a stool in her kitchen, reading the Sarawak Tribune.
In June, they got engaged and on Oct 24 of the same year, in a stiff white uniform that was overstarched at the laundry, they got married at the Roman Catholic Church attended by Chris’ family and his friends from the army.
Now, both are back in Kuching to celebrate their 54th wedding anniversary.
A few months ago, to hear the story about their life together, I went to their home in Southampton, where David, 76, in his red
kain pelikat, was preparing to cook chicken curry. Apparently, while out in the east, it wasn’t just Chris that he fell in love with.
He took such a liking to the Malay sarong that he wears them during summer. His love for chicken curry is legendary amongst family and friends. He even makes his own curry powder.
So, was the path of true love smooth and easy for them?
The reputation of young British soldiers being posted out in the east apparently had preceded them. According to Chris, “Oh, nobody liked him because the army has got a bad name. So I had to prove to them that he was not what everybody thought he was”.
David conceded. Although he himself didn’t quite take to drinking, the image of soldiers in brawls after a few drinks and leaving local girls after a fling out in the east didn’t put David in a good light in the eyes of his future in-laws. Even Chris’ boss at the post office, where she was working at that time, objected to their relationship.
During his visits to the family home, they would sit playing cards, with Chris’ mum sitting silently between them, face in a fixed scowl.
“She would just sit there, not saying a word, to make sure that there was no hanky panky,” laughed David at the memory.
Chris finally pushed David out of the house one evening, to where her father was sitting on a bench across the monsoon drain, to ask for her hand.
With the stench from the stagnant drain and mosquitoes biting him to death as the sun set, David broached the subject. But it wasn’t just the father and the mosquitoes that he had to contend with. As Chris was the youngest of 13 in the family, David had to also ask permission from every one of her brothers.
“Some were okay, but some were against, again because I was a soldier. We didn’t have a good reputation. They said I had to get to know Chris first and so I went to see her every evening in the house.”
David remembers the dimly-lit house where they would sit downstairs under the watchful eyes of her mother. It proved to be the most challenging episode for the soldier who had seen the Brunei Rebellion and Malaysia’s confrontation with Indonesia. As an air despatcher with the Service Corp, his assignments included packing everything, from steam roller to live chickens via parachute, to those serving on the ground at the border.
The army proved to be another hurdle. Although there was no written rule against soldiers marrying, they had to ask permission. David was advised against marrying women from the east “as they aged rather quickly”, said his commanding officer.
One of the main worries was that there were cases of foreign wives being abandoned once the soldiers went back to Britain. The enforced separation of about four months, to make him think again, resulted in the opposite.
As for David’s parents, Chris’ age, race and nationality weren’t a problem. Chris received a beautiful letter from her future inlaws. When they met, although Chris wasn’t exactly in ponytail, wearing black with hands clasped as they had pictured, they welcomed her into the family.
After their marriage, they got posted back to a place near Bath. They were blessed with two children, Raymond and Yvonne. And then when there was an opportunity to be posted out to the east, David grabbed at the chance at the expense of being demoted a rank.
He did that so Chris and the children were able to be near their family in Kuching.
“Airfare was expensive then. So I had to make this decision so that they could be near the family and we went back to Singapore,” said David.
Both agreed that it wasn’t love at first sight, but love grew. The house was always filled with laughter and they spent their time walking and cycling in tandem in the forest nearby.
“It was never really my intention to find a wife during my posting but we were meant to be together,” said David, who had written a book, An Ordinary Life? — The reminiscences of David Richard Drury.
To Chris and David, have a wonderful 54th anniversary in Kuching and may your life together always be filled with love and laughter in the house you comically called Rumah Gila.