A love story
Passing by a building once used to solemnise wedding ceremonies, is inspired to learn more about Chinese wedding rituals practised in the past
“CHIP Ewe Koo Lok Por! Several of my friends’ weddings were solemnised there in the 1950s,” my aunt remarks as soon as I turn into Jalan Stesyen after picking her up from the nearby KTM Kommuter station. Excited to no end at the sight of the double storey standalone building, she starts detailing the nuptial ceremonies that she witnessed there nearly half a decade ago.
Among the many, she remembers one particularly well as both the bride and groom were said to have laid eyes on each other for the first time during Chap Goh Meh, the 15th day of the Chinese Lunar New Year, which is widely considered as Chinese Valentine’s Day.
During that particular evening back in 1952, my aunt and her friend, dressed in their best cheongsams, joined a group of young and eligible maidens for a stroll on the street. They were accompanied by several older female family members who acted as chaperones.
Along the way, the group dropped by the riverside Tua Pek Kong Temple to pray. While all the maidens beseeched the deities to send them a suitable match, only my aunt’s friend had the good fortune of having her prayers answered later that same night. In an attempt to further improve their chances, the maidens adjourned outside and began scribbling each of their names on mandarin oranges that they’d brought from home. Then, one by one, they took turns to mutter silent prayers and threw the fruits as hard as it was humanly possible towards the water’s edge.
Popular belief has it that waterways like river and the sea act as a conduit, transmitting the inscribed oranges to heaven and allowing the deities to determine the appropriate life partners for those who have taken the trouble to seek their divine intervention.
My aunt’s friend, being the most petite in the group, did her utmost best but, instead of the water, her aim fell on a group of young men nearby, hitting one squarely on the head. Despite being stunned initially, the lad quickly recovered from the shock and promptly put the orange into his pocket amid jeers from his friends.
Needless to say, my aunt and her blushing friends quickly beat a hasty retreat while begging their chaperones not to breathe a single word of the incident to anyone, especially their parents.
Interestingly, my aunt’s story is so captivating that even the chock-a-block traffic along Jalan Langgar caused by shoppers heading towards Pekan Cina for last minute Chinese New Year shopping doesn’t bother me a bit.
“Matters of the heart in the olden days were definitely less complex compared to what young people go through today. There was no courtship or going on dates to get to know each other better,” my aunt quips before telling me that her friend was taken aback when a renowned matchmaker, despatched by the family of the young man whom she accidentally struck outside the temple, turned up at her doorstep a week later.
Apparently, the young man had managed to catch sight of his “assailant” in the dim moonlight and liked what he saw. The wheels for a formal betrothal were set in motion as soon as the prospective groom told his mother about the incident and showed her the name of the girl on the projectile that he’d so preciously kept.
Needless to say, my aunt’s friend and her family were elated at the marriage proposal when told by the matchmaker that the prospective groom had recently graduated from a top Australian university and was poised to take over the helm of his father’s sprawling business empire that dabbled in real estate, saw mills, timber The wedding of Malaya’s badminton great Johnny Heah and Amy Choong was held in 1955 at the Eastern and Oriental Hotel Penang. concessions and had a variety of contracts with the British armed forces based in Malaya.
Although Chinese wedding traditions vary according to the different dialect groups, the custom of using professional matchmakers, usually elderly ladies who command respect within the society, to oversee wedding arrangements was common for all during those early days.
I listen with interest as my aunt details the elaborate wedding formalities practised in the past. Today, although modernisation has resulted in the simplification of many traditional marriage rituals, a Chinese wedding is considered incomplete unless the couple has performed the necessary customary rites.
Duringtheinitialstages,thematchmaker must first play the pivotal role of comparing the horoscopes as well as making sure that the times and dates of birth of the prospective couple are compatible. Her most useful tool while performing this traditional ritual is the tongshu, a trusted Chinese divination guide and almanac.
Once everything has been checked out, the matchmaker would proceed with the custom of presenting betrothal gifts to the bride’s family as a token of appreciation. This ceremony, known as guo da li, is carried out one to two weeks before the date of the wedding ceremony.
During that auspicious day, the groom’s family presents the bride’s family with a variety of food items and gifts that symbolise good luck and prosperity. The type of things given varies depending on the dialect groups concerned. However, the total items usually add up to even numbers like six, eight or 10.
Gifts given by the Teochew include peanut-sesame candy wrapped in red paper to signify qian zi wan sun (a thousand children, ten thousand grandchildren). The