YOU CAN CHOOSE NOT TO BE LONELY

STUDIES show that loneliness is one of the major causes contributing to the disruption of mental health, which leads to numerous social problems, such as suicide, depression and drug abuse.

On average, at least two suicide deaths occurred from 2019 to May 2020, according to Bukit Aman Criminal Investigation Department director Datuk Seri Abdul Jalil Hassan.

Almost half a million Malaysians experience symptoms of depression, according to the 2019 National Health and Morbidity Survey.

It is important to understand the causes of loneliness. Studies suggest that loneliness is associated with poor social skills and introversion, leading to social isolation and depression. Loneliness, according to experts, is not necessarily about being physically alone.

Loneliness is in the mind and the state of the mind is affected by input from one’s environment from the time a person is born. What can be done to address this?

FIRST, parents play a very important role in instilling healthy selfesteem and confidence in a child. A child must be taught to love, be loved and value hardship to achieve happiness.

Parents must guide their children through different stages of their lives and let them make decisions whenever necessary to allow children to develop accountability and responsibility.

Most importantly, parents must live by the ideals they want their children to embrace and at the same time not expect perfection. Chidlren must learn to walk, fall and get up to walk again with the helping hands of their parents.

A child growing up in such an environment will develop confidence, value healthy social interactions and be less prone to loneliness.

SECOND, when children start going to school, their environment changes. At this stage, the role of teachers is vital.

Teachers with knowledge of child psychology will be more effective in guiding students to develop good attitudes and good mental health, which can prevent students from developing loneliness and negative behaviour, such as bullying.

To achieve this, the Education Ministry should provide training to teachers to create a conducive and safe environment in schools.

THIRD, the key to prevent loneliness lies in the neurochemicals, such as dopamine and serotonin, in the brain that control the state of the mind.

Positive thinking and socialising promotes the release of these positive chemicals in the brain. The brain then becomes more fluid in coping with changing environmental challenges.

One is trapped in loneliness because one chooses to be lonely. To break the chain, one must not think in circles, but reach out for help and choose not to be alone.

Take the steps to feel good. This will initiate the release of the positive neurochemicals that can change the state of the mind. This does not necessarily require socialising activities. However, healthy social activities will stimulate the release of more positive neurochemicals.

FOURTH, there are always good people around to lend a helping hands to those who struggle with loneliness.

The government, non-governmental organisations, corporate and community leaders must set up integrated programmes to reach out and engage lonely people and re-assimilate into society.

This may reduce cases of depression, suicide, drug abuse and other mental health illnesses.

Loneliness is a state of mind that can be overcome if one is given the opportunity to choose not to be lonely and those who are not lonely must create this opportunity. The message is: “You are not alone”. ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR

DR PATRICK TAN

Director, Clinical Skills Centre, Faculty of Medicine, AIMST University