The Borneo Post - Good English
Sam walks into his boss’s office and says “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a five per cent raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave. “By the way,” asks the boss, “Which three companies are after you?” “The electric company, water company, and phone company!”
“Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it.
So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. ‘Boss,’ he said, ‘The pill actually worked!’ ‘That’s all fine,’ said the boss, ‘But where were you yesterday?’ “Henry was on his morning walk when he bumped into his friend Paul.
Henry: ‘Hey Paul, why do you look so dejected today?’
Paul: ‘Oh Henry, I’m in trouble. I need cash for the business and I have NO IDEA where to get it from!!’
Henry: ‘Oh, I’m sure glad to hear that. I was afraid you might think you could borrow it from me!’
The most successful investor was Noah. He floated stock, while everything around him went into liquidation.
Boss: What are you doing, Smith? Employee: I’m doing what you told me to do. Boss: I didn’t tell you anything! Employee: And that’s why I’m not doing anything.