Common sense

My boss thinks I am a fool. Yesterday he sent me to buy 2 kg of sugar but I only found 1 kg at the shop so I didn’t buy. Very pissed at me he asked me why I didn’t use my brain and buy two 1 kg packs to make a total of 2 kg. Today he sent me to buy a pair of size 6 slippers but I only found size 3. This time I used my brain and bought 2 pairs of size 3 to make size 6. I took them to him & he told me to wait outside. I can see him typing...? I guess it’s a promotion letter

A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

Boyfriend: “ILY.” Girlfriend: “Can you please say the words? It makes it better.”

Boyfriend: “I’m leaving you.”

Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?” Student: “My father’s check book!”

A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”

The Problem With New Jeans

I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.

“Was anything wrong with them?” the clerk asked. “Yes,” I said. “They hurt my feelings.”