Embracing the spirit of forgiveness
SELAMAT Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all my Muslim brothers and sisters, my very best wishes to all as you celebrate the end of Ramadan, the fasting month!
The month of Ramadan marked as a holy month for the Muslims. By fasting and praying it brings out the inner spirituality of an individual. It also brings that individual to a humble state.
Throughout the Malay Archipelago, the most common greeting used by Muslims during this auspicious day is “Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Dan Batin”, which translates loosely to “I seek forgiveness (from you) physically and spiritually”.
As the greeting suggests, Hari Raya Aidilfitri is a time of forgiveness within the Muslim community, after all to err is human, to forgive, divine. It would indeed be a day for reconciliation and the renewal of family bond and friendship with others when we forgive.
Islam is a great and beautiful religion of peace. Unfortunately, for some time now, peace has eluded a great many parts of the Muslim world. Sadly significant terrorist attacks have sprung up across the globe since the beginning of Muslim holy month of Ramadan with current counts confirming three deadly attacks and more than hundreds dead, and a reported incident on London Bridge. Ironically the terrorist groups usually use the holiday to mount more significant terrorist attacks, and promise their followers extra benefits for dying in such attacks during the holy month. Good lord! This irresponsible group should not be referred as Islamic Terrorist organization but just TERRORIST ORGANISATION. Islam can never be terrorist but terrorist is always terrorist.
The major attacks of Ramadan 2017 include twin suicide bombings in Baghdad and a massive suicide borne vehicle bomb in Afghanistan.
Elsewhere, in war torn Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Sudan, and Pakistan, many Muslims would not have much to celebrate for this Hari Raya.
Fortunately for us, Malaysians have always proven to be a moderate Muslim nation, and most people of all faiths have always demonstrated maturity, restraint, and respect when it comes to inter-faith relation.
In particular, during the festive season almost all Muslims make it a point to forgive others, and to ask forgiveness from their father, their mother and their friends for the wrongs they have committed over the past year. This is a laudable act of honour to one's father and mother and friends – freely offered from the heart as an expression of gratitude, respect, concern and, above all, honour that wipes the slate clean, and enables one to move forward and live life light.
All of us should thus learn from this healthy and impeccable annual practice of our Muslim brothers and sisters, and make a daily effort to forgive those who offend us and seek forgiveness from those we have wronged until it becomes a natural, authentic part of ourselves.
It is not as a show of false goodness, but an unquestionable outpouring of love and honour – if not for the sake of others – for ourselves! Forgiveness is actually a workout for the soul to make you stronger and more loving and compassionate at the same time. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” So, let's be strong, and choose to forgive and ask for forgiveness!
Lest we forget, Quran 5:95 tells us Islam recommends forgiveness, because Allah values forgiveness. There are numerous verses in Quran and the Hadiths recommending forgiveness.
Similarly forgiveness is also central to Christian ethics and is a frequent topic in sermons and theological works. It is considered a duty of Christians to forgive unconditionally, Matthew 6:14-15 tells us “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”.
Similarly Buddhism questions the reality of the passions that make forgiveness necessary for if we haven't forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn and that is what suffers.
Throughout the journey of individuals, life, forgiveness is a gift. It can be a choice or an emotional spirit. However trying to forget something a person has done is not easy and simple thing to bury. Some people hold grievances and bitterness for years and others just cannot wipe out the situation especially serious incidents. Forgiveness is a dedication to an individual that he or she has been forgiven, a process of change and a new start. Nobody is perfect and everybody make mistakes. We should be magnanimous to give a soul another chance.
Learning to accept others' flaws create a healthy relationship.
Forgiving someone takes ability and willingness before you can totally say that you have forgiven a person. It is a process between the soul and mind.
One of the reasons why it is very important to forgive is because it is very difficult to grip hates and bitterness within our soul. It feels wonderful when a person is at peace with anyone not having to live each day of their lives worrying what a person has done to them.
If someone is carrying grudges, they are only hurting themselves every time they focus on the particular object that happened to them.
Looking at the true meaning of the word “Maaf Zahir & Batin”, it is not only all about celebration, food and new clothes that we buy to use, it is a time for “atonement” to ask for forgiveness for sins that we may have done knowingly or unknowingly to others by our words, thoughts, deeds and actions. At times we find it so difficult to come forth to ask for forgiveness to those we have hurt unintentionally.
Then what is the true meaning of Ramadhan when we cannot ask for forgiveness and also to forgive those who have hurt us? Many of us are still living in bitterness, hurt and revenge. It happens everywhere, right from the family institution to the governing bodies.
We have to be very careful and we need to set good values and good examples because we are all under the watchful eyes of the future generation.
“As we sow, so shall we reap”, in the family and also in the governing bodies of our country.
Interestingly, in a book, “Forgive for Good” written by Dr Fred Luskin, the cofounder and director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, succinctly stated that research has emerged over the past decade to show that “learning to forgive is good for both your mental and physical well-being and your relationships” as forgiveness “has been shown to reduce depression, increase hopefulness, decrease anger, increase emotional self-confidence, and help heal relationships”.
Whenever each Ramadhan and Aidil Fitri approach it brings back memories of my yesteryear in Tamparili where I spent my entire childhood and my teenage life there. During the month of Ramadan I still remember looking at Paridi's mother (The only Java Family in Tamparuli then) making the raya cakes under the rubber trees near the old town padang where they lived. We use to address her as babu and we were all so closely knitted. Being obedient and quietly looking at the process of making “kuih” always earned me and my good childhood friends David Chua Kim Liong a few small pieces of “Kuih Tepung”.
They being Muslims and we being either Taoists or Christians, there was no difference at all. The “bond” was always there. The Muslims and non-Muslims all lived in harmony.
Do we see this kind of thing anymore? Why can't we all have the good old days back as it was before? This year I see dirty politics have ruined the love and harmony of the people. We are so careful of whom we call to the house and with whom we interact. Everything is under watchful eyes and has become a political issue.
In this month of syawal, let us all as one bring back the essence of the true meaning of a real loving community regardless of our race and religion. I am sure this is what we all want. Let us make it our desire to build a better relationship with one another during the festive seasons that we all celebrate throughout the year with true spirit of Maaf Zahir Dan Batin.