Returning favour of caring, loving for the elderly
AS I recalled my late parents when they were in their old age, nearing or surpassing the life expectancy of human beings or shall I say at the end of the human life cycle, I felt a sense of regret and responsibility, for I could have taken more proactive action to care for them.
Now I am paying the price of feeling guilty for not doing more on my time allocation with them, let alone the quality time.
My parents have worked indefatigably and to the best of their ability to give my brothers, my sister and me the life we have today, a life full of opportunities and privileges albeit along the path of poverty.
Despite being inadequate, they had either acquired, created or had been brought up with a set of morals, values and principles in their life.
They may not apply to our own but the least we can do is see how those values impacted their lives. We can learn a thing or two from adopting those values.
Learn the right and wrong. Have the insight into a set of rules that we can outline for ourselves to follow and live by. They would want the best for us and they would be more than willing to tell us what set of rules and guidelines had made them successful and hopefully, peaceful.
Another important lesson we learn from our parents is no matter what we do in life, who we become, where we live, who we are with, they would always love us unconditionally.
Sure they might be disappointed in us or upset with us from time to time but at the end of the day we are still their kiddo. This kind of unconditional love is hard to find anywhere else in this unpredictable universe.
The mere presence of our loving parents gives us hope and strength to keep calm and carry on. They are the truest form of wisdom. They taught us respect, perseverance, wisdom and much more positive value in life.
Then one day we wake up and realize that our parents can no longer able to handle and take care of everything which they did before. We start to realize that it is our turn to have to be ready to handle things for them and take care of them. We realize that we are now going to have to be the strong one and that thought is incredibly intimidating.
In our head we still think of ourselves as the child and they are our parents, and deep down we want them to be strong because their being strong makes us feel safe and secure.
But the truth is they can’t be strong anymore, instead they need us to be the strong one. They need us to be the one to make them feel safe and secure as they finish out the journey of their lives.
That being the case it is imperative that as their children we return the favor of caring and loving. I am sure this will resonate with many of us as we see our own loved ones age in front of you.
We need to care for our parents because they deserve to be cared for.
They taught us how to love, how to care, how to give, how to forgive, how to accept, and most of all they are our backbone of support.
Without their endless sacrifice during our early and formative years, we wouldn’t be capable of what we are today. Indeed they are our first guru in our life.
While getting old is an inevitable process and is inherent to human being, caring for someone who once cared for us is the highest honour.
Elderly people are precious as highlighted by Eleanor Roosevelt in her words , “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.”
What are the hidden benefits of Caring for the elderly? It is self-development. Old-age is a time when they need help in things they effortlessly do by themselves before.
It is a time when they need attention and affection. By being with them and caring for them we establish relationships. Connecting with them we learn to grow. We learn patience and tolerance by caring for them.
As they have lived long they know life very well. They have been through the ups and downs of life. Elderly helps us to see people as well as ourselves differently in a good way.
They teach us that that there is so much more to things as well as people than they appear. We learn our identity and discover who we really are by being with them.
We become more self-aware and wiser through all the things they teach and do. Through their actions we imbibe better the seeds they sown.
Through their calmness and serenity from all the experiences and lessons they have learnt and gathered through the years they provide us a better platform for us to follow and imitate as actions speak louder than words. Caring for them in many ways, prepares us to face life and overcome it.
All the little things that we learnt through caring strengthen us and help us to live life in fulfillment and satisfaction; storing all the things that we learnt and doing it.
According to the recent New York Time Times report, almost 58 million people worldwide will turn 60 this year. By 2050, there will be more old people than children under the age of 15 for the first time in history. It’s hard to wrap one’s mind around a demographic change of this magnitude and the caregiving challenges that it entails.
The true nightmare prospect is this: People live longer, with more chronic illnesses like high blood pressure or diabetes, in poorer health, requiring more attention from family members and costly medical care.
The caring for the old age is indeed very challenging if we base on the above mentioned report.
Despite the negative attitude towards the caring of the elderly people, we should always remember that Elderly teach us the value of family, relationships and life, which we must “repay” them now and apply now.
Caring for the elders help us to grow in many ways which altogether lead to who we are. We owe to them. We will not be here if it were not for them. If we fail in our duty to care for them, we must be reminded of the Karmic effect in our society or in the words of Sabahan colloquial “ketulahan”, if you know what I mean.