The wisdom of humility

COMING from a very poor family, we are taught to be humble and let our actions do the talking. That’s how our father used to admonish my siblings and me. What we have been able to accomplish, and how we influence the people around us will always speak louder than words.

But, is it possible to be too humble?

There are times when you put a uniform on a person and he is immediately transformed just like when someone suddenly becomes a proud Yang Berhormat.

He becomes arrogant and obnoxious. He wants it his way, all the time. He refuses to listen and becomes unreasonable, demanding and sometime abusive.

I am sad to see these timid personalities become obnoxious and loathsome creatures. Do they think they can bully and tread down others?

No one likes to see people showing off. Arrogance can push people away and make it difficult for others to get closer to you.

Having confidence is important to have, but being cocky can definitely get beneath people’s skin.

My recent experience at the ENT section of the government hospital in Kota Kinabalu really irked me to the extent I felt like wanting to shout at the hospital staff but my father’s ghost is always haunting me.

I chose to smile and walk away to find other solution instead of arguing with the staff at 7.15am, who is said to follow rules.

Although there is an SOP to be followed in any of our profession, there are times reasonableness and exception could prevail.

A slight mistake by the patient will result in the patient being told by the hospital staff to come back the next day.

Don’t they know how difficult it is going to the hospital, let alone making an appointment to see a specialist? Some of us need to take a day off and are staying far away from the hospital.

Having known my predicament, the secretary of Dewan Undangan Negeri, Datuk Bernard Dalinting told me that, according to the Health Director Datuk Dr Christina Rundi, there is a special lane for YBs at the government hospital although it remains to be seen.

But then why should YBs be treated differently when we are at the government hospital? It is the attitude of the handling officers towards the patients that matter.

So humility is a virtue, but can we have too much of it?

In a society where fortune favors the strong, modesty is often seen as a weakness. Climbing to the top of a society ladder is our modern version of “survival of the fittest” - and for that reason; meekness is often under-appreciated.

Despite my skeptical outlook on humbleness or humility, I still keep to the belief that the secret to success and fulfillment may very well lie in the ability to express humility.

The emphasis on humility in philosophy shows that it is a trait and principle that deserves to be venerated.

As Confucius once said, humility is “the solid foundation of all virtues” - and possibly the key to achievement.

While humble people are often seen in today’s corporate culture as unassertive, passive types, there’s something truly powerful about them that we can all stand to emulate.

Studies have associated humility with healthy adjustment, good leadership and other positive emotions - demonstrating that in order to be a winner; we could stand to benefit from getting in touch with our modest side.

And this doesn’t require as much self-deprecation as one might think.

Many people think of humility as thinking very little of you. It cannot be right. It’s more about a proper or accurate assessment. A big part of humility is to know our own limits, our strengths and weaknesses, morally or otherwise.

But beyond just knowing ourselves, humility can also build upon other positive traits we already have.

In general, most traditions, religious or philosophical, believe that certain character traits make up a good person and a lot of those attributes are enhanced by humility.

So how do we add a little more humility to our lives? The following are the traits humble people have mastered that allow them to live accomplished, fulfilled and happy lives.

They focus their energy on others. People who practise humility tend to reflect inward, but when it comes to where they focus their energy, it’s all about other people.

While humble people put others before themselves, they do it in a mindful-manner that doesn’t end up hurting themselves in the long run.

Their focus is outward but has a real interest in others and their contributions to the world.

Theyre conscientious. In addition to being concerned for others, people who exude humility also act on their compassion.

Research shows that humble people show a more charitable and generous nature toward other people. Not a bad kind of person to have in your corner - and certainly not a bad habit to adopt yourself.

Lest we forget, Science shows that altruism can benefit health and significantly contribute to happiness.

Their morally correct decision-making. When humble people struggle with what the best option is, they look to their instincts.

It involves certain respect for important moral values - like compassion and knowing that you made a decision you will stand by, no matter the outcome.

They see happiness as a journey. Studies have shown that we tend to achieve happiness more when we’re not actually pursuing it.

Humble people - who already place their focus outward - tend to naturally take this approach. As a result, the virtue allows them to feel fulfilled on a regular basis.

Many believe that human nature is such that we want to be happy, however we tend to define that, but ... people that are the happiest are the ones that don’t think so much about trying to be happy.

They get caught up in projects, people and things that they consider bigger and more important than themselves and then they get more happiness anyway as a byproduct.

They excel as leaders. While humility is more of a softer strength, that doesn’t mean it can’t make an impact within their surroundings.

Humble people have the ability to shine in professional settings because they give credit where it is due and are open to collaboration.

And while the workplace tends to recognize self-promoters over their more modest counterparts, humility actually makes people better employees and bosses.

They know good things lie ahead - and they’re OK waiting for them. When you subscribe to modesty, you’re genuinely thankful for the opportunities and accolades you receive and not only is that a refreshing outlook to have, but it helps you cope with the periods of wait time inbetween.

With humility you’re more capable of waiting for the peaks of your life to come - and you’re grateful when they do.

They have strong relationships. While humility may sometimes be viewed as a subservient characteristic, when it comes down to it, most people don’t want a narcissistic friend or partner - and that ability to possess modesty and genuine graciousness for others can significantly strengthen social bonds.

Today’s world has come to believe that humility, confidence and hard work make a winning recipe for personal achievement.

Yet, I have seen many confident, humble and hardworking people who are yet to achieve the goals and dreams they have set out to accomplish.

This is because there is a big difference between being arrogant and having a sense of arrogance about yourself. Those whose actions leave us in awe are very aware of this difference; I shall endeavor to discuss this subject in my future article.