Why we reach for nostalgia in times of difficulties

THE pandemic has made life weird, and lockdowns and restrictions are just some of the recent events to have a tremendous effect on the human psyche.

Many of us started going through wild and vivid coronavirus-related dreams. As the days passed, many lost their sense of time and stopped caring about whether it was a weekend or Tuesday.

Just like when we first experienced lockdown on the 3rd week of March this year for a duration of almost 3 months, the recent declaration of conditional movement control order (CMCO) in Kota Kinabalu where the pandemic reached its peak, many of us are, not surprisingly looking back at our pasts, revisiting decisions we made and relationships we lost.

We explore things we could have done differently, regrettable mistakes, and random, buried memories. Even just scrolling through faded old photos can be tempting right now. Are we mad? I am reminding myself I am staying near Bukit Padang mental hospital.

Of late Whatsapp holds tremendous power to add an element of virality to any communication. That applies to my sixth form classmate of 77 SM All Saints Likas.

During this semi lockdown period the ‘Whatsapp Integration’ makes our communication go viral on common issues with individual shareability; boosts the alumni reachability to rekindle those good old days of yesteryears.

Things just seemed easier in the Before Times, when we weren’t sheltering in place. But in times of trauma and overwhelming stress, it’s a natural instinct to feel nostalgic and rely on those feelings for comfort and a sense of normalcy.

Indeed, trauma takes away our grey areas. It divides our timeline into a before and an after, and while it has the danger of creating this longing for the before, when things were maybe safer, and when we were unaware of all of this and protected by our naïveté, there is also something about nostalgic behaviours — fashion, clothes, movies, music — that serve as a transitional object.

In the 1970s, transitional fashion of our younger day of bell-bottoms became fashionable for both men and women. The fashion often made of denim, flared out from the bottom of the calf, and had slightly curved hems and a circumference of 18 inches at the bottom of each leg opening. The funny looks can help us transitioning from one stage of life to the next, or help us navigate specific stressors. It increases our ability to self-soothe during a stressful time. In this case, nostalgia serves as a kind of emotional pacifier, helping us to become accustomed to a new reality that is jarring, stressful and traumatic.

In fact during this “difficult but necessary” time, anything that can help us calm ourself down, feel more soothed, feel more grounded, is very useful. For instance, if you watch a movie and remember who you watched it with as a kid, and maybe connect with that person and you reach out to them instead of just drowning in isolation, that can be really helpful.

For some, the past can also provide a sense of calm and stability that people aren’t getting from their daily lives right now. There’s a lot of uncertainty and instability ahead, and people may resort to the past to find peace. Sometime I think the past is very comforting.

On the other hand, it is human nature to make negative assumptions when we face with uncertainty. In this case, people may have doubts about what the future holds. Looking at the past is a way to regain some control in a situation that’s making us feel helpless. Looking back can help people understand how they once dealt with grief, mistakes and uncertainty and that they can overcome difficulties yet again. Most people will realise they have a great capacity for resilience. The past can also be grounding. It validates our existence and gives our life meaning, especially in a time when there is so much instability.

I know for a fact that our then indefatigable and helpful class monitor Mr Wong Vui Yin , a retired state Librarian, definitely felt a pull to get in touch with old friends. He had reached out to many of our classmates, some of whom they haven’t talked to in years, and I could see they are in close contact lately although I must admit that I am just a passive participant.

I believe some of my former classmates are eager to collect some of their thoughts and create a little corner of the social media where they could reminisce together as a way to cope during times of tenseness when our brains often take us to places that we subconsciously designate as “safe,” like past memories of a joyful vacation or happy childhood moments that made us feel loved. Transporting our time to the 70s during the high school days are definitely fit the moment.